Well,there are times,most of the times when I hate myself for who I am.
Since the moment I've started observing people, making friends,having opinions, feelings of love and anger.
I now think that I never fit into this practical world where people are way more realistic towards love and emotions.
They have always known when and where to draw lines to prioritise their works and me??
Well, I've always remained a fool and for a reason I'm because I have never limited my love and emotions for anyone.. Which I think I should probably had done.
And though people keep doing this to me.
I never learn from my mistakes!!
Time and again they keep telling me "for you person, their bonds, emotions might be enough but for me you are not enough".
And I ask them," not enough?? not enough to love you more than you?? not enough to change you from negative to positive??

"No, I'm different than you" this is what I often get in return.


They slap me right there on my face,with their facile attitude.
And their I'm.
I always remain a fool.
I never learn from my mistakes!!
They leave no stone unturned to tell me how worthless I'm in this world and they lose no chance to tell me, I'm treasured but only as a part of life,not as life actually.
Those statements,those promises those love,they are just for namesake.
I'm not their world in real sense,it is only when they feel happy and lovey-dovey then I appear as their so called world.
It's all restricted.
It's all bloody restricted.
Not widened,it never was,never is, never will be.
I had been dead before a long time and now even if my soul craves to be alive,they grab every little time to crush it!!
How many times??
Literally how many times I need to break to be finally loved, embraced and to be lived.

Just tell me how many times??
© sanara