"I was sitting in my office when a case came in, so I quickly finished two bottles from it. I was tough, so tough, that I wore my clothes out from the inside out. I tall blonde walked past my widow, I knew she was tall, cause I was sitting on the second floor. The phone rang, something was wrong... I knew it, because I didn't have a phone. It was a girl, she was in trouble. So I raced down the stairs and I called a cab, the cab stopped with a jerk, the jerk got out and I got in... We took a corner at a 100miles and hour, but a cop stopped us, he said to put the corner back. As I came to her house, she greeted me with a burning kiss. Then she took the siggarette out, and kissed me again. She had teeth like the ten commandments, all broken. She had the most beautiful eyes, so beautiful that one eye could not stop looking at the other one. There was a man in the floor, he had bullet holes to his head, and stab wounds to his heart. I said lady; if this man was alive, he'd sure be ill hey? So I took her for a drive to calm her nerves, when suddenly a brick came flying through the window. Hitting her on her left breast, breaking three of my fingers. We got a flat tire, so I pumped and then she pumped, and then we got out and fixed the tire. As I was giving her a kiss, her father opened the door and stepped on my back almost breaking it. As I have her a final goodnight kiss, she closed her legs and broke my nose.
I'll be more careful of my surroundings in the future.

signed - Wern