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delayed gratification part 2
chapter 5
During my experiment on myself I went to a recovery program that lasted 8 months. During this time I had to go to class 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. This was a chore because I was in prison and who wants to be in prison and in a class all day. I made it through it though. I had some awesome things happen to me I met this man he had done 15 years in prison for illegal discharge of a firearm what had happened he was in the woods far from the town where he shot off his AK-47. On his way back to his car he heard a woman screaming he followed the sound and found two men raping a young woman he snuck up on them and shot one of the men from a distance. The other men whimpered as he closed the distance between them. He brought the gun to the man's head and said see you in hell and placed one bullet in the man's head. He helped the woman to his car and took her to the hospital where he came in contact with the police. The man he had shot in head lived. Murder charges were filed against the him. At trial, he was acquitted of the murder charges but found guilty of illegal discharging a firearm. He received 10 years in the California Department corrections. Me and this man Road on the bus from DVI. them we spent the next eight months in The Recovery Center located in Folsom California.upon discharge, we both transferred to serria recovery Center in South Lake Tahoe California. There I met his daughter who was a beauty I have kept in touch with her to this very day. He died soon after released from the program of an overdose. Another thing that happened was I met the best tattoo artists of my life he had the same first name as me and the same last initial so I would write Keenan s. On papers, so he would receive credit for them also. to finance getting my tattoo work from him I had to put in Endless hours of watch burning soot making ink ,stealing pens and whatnot to get my time under the gun. When he started he did for my big toe to my knee he had a way with a tattoo gun his hand was light. He could make pictures stand out of the skin taking on an almost 3D quality. once I was done I was called to the office I was nervous as shit. The doctor called me in and as I was standing there he asked me to see my penis what I said he said drop your drawers and show me your genitalia. I showed him my Johnson and he said looks good. I stepped out into the hallway and another inmate walked in as I walked out. As I waited a wave of relief swept over me. If I was kicked out of the program I would not get off parole and I wouldn't receive the money that they gave to me weekly. The other inmate stepped out and when the cop was out of earshot he said what did they want you for. They asked to see my penis. I said with a laugh. He said. that's strange they asked to see my leg. that's funny I just got a tattoo on my leg. I said. I just had my penis pierced he said we both had a good laugh. Everyone was a lot more careful around the rehab after that day because we knew that there was a snitch amongst us. During one day in class, I told the teacher of my experiment. He looked at me as if I was the dumbest person on the planet. You cannot conduct experiments upon yourself scientist go to school and study to be a scientist you can't be a scientist without going to school. Is what he said to me. I started to argue yes I am he no you are not. Instead of continuing the argument on I turning and left but I stued over what he had said to me for days. The argument stayed in the air for a few days with people in the class and on the staff nervous to bring up the subject to either myself or the teacher. Soon I was transferred into a different class I had a teacher that influenced me greatly and taught me many things about recovery and addiction he is the reason that I am writing this book and that I had stayed sober. Towards the last few days in the program before I was released I shared with him my experiment and told him of my previous teacher's opinion . His response was astounding. He said to write the book to be done with the experiment. You don't have to continue using yourself as a guinea pig the experiment is done write your book move on with life. I was released went to the recovery center received $157 a week I continue getting high for a few more years then I found the bottom and as I was looking up at the light.god took my hand and dusted me off and told me you will never do those things again. I give you the power and to this day I've been clean with God in my life .people that love me . opportunities and choices God has blessed me.
chapter 6
One day at a Party someone offered my fiance some drugs . not knowing my stance on drugs and that I didn't like them. she really really wanted to do this drug it's called DMT. In the past I was a trash can Junkie. So I had tried this drug twice but nothing would prepare me for this third time they gave her some of the drugs to smoke and as she left to mingle with a girlfriend in the bathroom. I asked for my fix. dude said I'm all out I said what I can't believe I'm not going to do this with her. I looked in the trash can and saw the baggie where he had drawn what she was using. I snatched it out scrape the a usable amount. found some ash in an ashtray on the deck placed it in the bong. Then applied the dab of drugs. I began to hit the drugs I took a very large hit. blew it out and began to take another during this time the neighbor noticed that I was smoking the stuff." hey what is that" he said. He tried to grab the bong for me but I eluded him. As I struck the lighter he said that is The Spirit Molecule. The Flint broke and at the butane ignite a star merged covering my lap and hand. Everything in the room took on a heightened quality. I started to take my third and final hit as the powerful drug filled my lungs I felt my body become demobilized almost in a catatonic state I stared at the wall. During this time the contributed and one of his friends began saying things to me like. It's all about the family it's family love the shitz for free man. Becoming overwhelmed there just happened to be a knife sitting on the table. I snatched it up in my right hand began stabbing towards my face and head left side right side left side right side toward my lap in my groin and just stabbing in stabbing not ever actually hitting myself. Once the chatterer of the two men ceased I sat down the knife. My third I began to draw back open fully and I rocked it to a new plane. On this plane I stood on the zigzagging street of San Francisco walking toward destinations unknown. Amazement the ground started to grown and Grumble. The building shook. A large crack began to separate the street. A car flew past just as the crack became Jagged enough to clip the undercarriage sending debris flying Every Which Way Direction. Dura people scattering in every direction. And as jetting plateaus began to arise in different areas of the city a hooker clung to a stop sign dangling legs kicking screaming in fear her huge boobs bounced inside her white top her legs flung back and forth in her pink mini skirt and pink high heels shot back and forth as she screamed for help. At the second I was talking to a third person perspective and was watching myself walking past this woman on twisted Street. The whole city became a ball almost a small world that resembled an egg I could see the Golden Gate Park on one side I could see downtown's skyscrapers. Everything began to grown as if a beast was Awakening. The next thing I know white horns Slither the top section a mouth opened up in the middle and this world begin to speak to me. I recognize the voice to be the devil. He conveyed The Continuous sinful nature and how easy it was for him to predict man's sinful ways how it has been going on and on for all of time. How easy we are all to see than trick out of our souls the existence of man was broken down in second that felt like forever but lasted only a short time then just like that bam I was back in the room walking around there was a neon green net that greeted the room everyone was connected through this net and everyone could pass through it it was insane but real the feelings and emotions of each person were conveyed through these ropes. This experience shaped my future and made me and my son's mother break up because of a continuous path of Destruction over the next few years till I stopped using everything this drug effect in my thoughts for 8 months and my outlook on life forever. It's all it made me was Stronger the information the devil began to use to try to persuade me onto his side only began to make me trust in God more and seek God love. To this day I'm thankful for that choice and during the times of delay I found the gratification not that gratifying anymore. It is only a roadblock to the real gratification The Continuous gratification when you quit and stop.
Chapter 7
During my experiment on myself I went to a recovery program that lasted 8 months. During this time I had to go to class 5 days a week for 8 hours a day. This was a chore because I was in prison and who wants to be in prison and in a class all day. I made it through it though. I had some awesome things happen to me I met this man he had done 15 years in prison for illegal discharge of a firearm what had happened he was in the woods far from the town where he shot off his AK-47. On his way back to his car he heard a woman screaming he followed the sound and found two men raping a young woman he snuck up on them and shot one of the men from a distance. The other men whimpered as he closed the distance between them. He brought the gun to the man's head and said see you in hell and placed one bullet in the man's head. He helped the woman to his car and took her to the hospital where he came in contact with the police. The man he had shot in head lived. Murder charges were filed against the him. At trial, he was acquitted of the murder charges but found guilty of illegal discharging a firearm. He received 10 years in the California Department corrections. Me and this man Road on the bus from DVI. them we spent the next eight months in The Recovery Center located in Folsom California.upon discharge, we both transferred to serria recovery Center in South Lake Tahoe California. There I met his daughter who was a beauty I have kept in touch with her to this very day. He died soon after released from the program of an overdose. Another thing that happened was I met the best tattoo artists of my life he had the same first name as me and the same last initial so I would write Keenan s. On papers, so he would receive credit for them also. to finance getting my tattoo work from him I had to put in Endless hours of watch burning soot making ink ,stealing pens and whatnot to get my time under the gun. When he started he did for my big toe to my knee he had a way with a tattoo gun his hand was light. He could make pictures stand out of the skin taking on an almost 3D quality. once I was done I was called to the office I was nervous as shit. The doctor called me in and as I was standing there he asked me to see my penis what I said he said drop your drawers and show me your genitalia. I showed him my Johnson and he said looks good. I stepped out into the hallway and another inmate walked in as I walked out. As I waited a wave of relief swept over me. If I was kicked out of the program I would not get off parole and I wouldn't receive the money that they gave to me weekly. The other inmate stepped out and when the cop was out of earshot he said what did they want you for. They asked to see my penis. I said with a laugh. He said. that's strange they asked to see my leg. that's funny I just got a tattoo on my leg. I said. I just had my penis pierced he said we both had a good laugh. Everyone was a lot more careful around the rehab after that day because we knew that there was a snitch amongst us. During one day in class, I told the teacher of my experiment. He looked at me as if I was the dumbest person on the planet. You cannot conduct experiments upon yourself scientist go to school and study to be a scientist you can't be a scientist without going to school. Is what he said to me. I started to argue yes I am he no you are not. Instead of continuing the argument on I turning and left but I stued over what he had said to me for days. The argument stayed in the air for a few days with people in the class and on the staff nervous to bring up the subject to either myself or the teacher. Soon I was transferred into a different class I had a teacher that influenced me greatly and taught me many things about recovery and addiction he is the reason that I am writing this book and that I had stayed sober. Towards the last few days in the program before I was released I shared with him my experiment and told him of my previous teacher's opinion . His response was astounding. He said to write the book to be done with the experiment. You don't have to continue using yourself as a guinea pig the experiment is done write your book move on with life. I was released went to the recovery center received $157 a week I continue getting high for a few more years then I found the bottom and as I was looking up at the light.god took my hand and dusted me off and told me you will never do those things again. I give you the power and to this day I've been clean with God in my life .people that love me . opportunities and choices God has blessed me.
chapter 6
One day at a Party someone offered my fiance some drugs . not knowing my stance on drugs and that I didn't like them. she really really wanted to do this drug it's called DMT. In the past I was a trash can Junkie. So I had tried this drug twice but nothing would prepare me for this third time they gave her some of the drugs to smoke and as she left to mingle with a girlfriend in the bathroom. I asked for my fix. dude said I'm all out I said what I can't believe I'm not going to do this with her. I looked in the trash can and saw the baggie where he had drawn what she was using. I snatched it out scrape the a usable amount. found some ash in an ashtray on the deck placed it in the bong. Then applied the dab of drugs. I began to hit the drugs I took a very large hit. blew it out and began to take another during this time the neighbor noticed that I was smoking the stuff." hey what is that" he said. He tried to grab the bong for me but I eluded him. As I struck the lighter he said that is The Spirit Molecule. The Flint broke and at the butane ignite a star merged covering my lap and hand. Everything in the room took on a heightened quality. I started to take my third and final hit as the powerful drug filled my lungs I felt my body become demobilized almost in a catatonic state I stared at the wall. During this time the contributed and one of his friends began saying things to me like. It's all about the family it's family love the shitz for free man. Becoming overwhelmed there just happened to be a knife sitting on the table. I snatched it up in my right hand began stabbing towards my face and head left side right side left side right side toward my lap in my groin and just stabbing in stabbing not ever actually hitting myself. Once the chatterer of the two men ceased I sat down the knife. My third I began to draw back open fully and I rocked it to a new plane. On this plane I stood on the zigzagging street of San Francisco walking toward destinations unknown. Amazement the ground started to grown and Grumble. The building shook. A large crack began to separate the street. A car flew past just as the crack became Jagged enough to clip the undercarriage sending debris flying Every Which Way Direction. Dura people scattering in every direction. And as jetting plateaus began to arise in different areas of the city a hooker clung to a stop sign dangling legs kicking screaming in fear her huge boobs bounced inside her white top her legs flung back and forth in her pink mini skirt and pink high heels shot back and forth as she screamed for help. At the second I was talking to a third person perspective and was watching myself walking past this woman on twisted Street. The whole city became a ball almost a small world that resembled an egg I could see the Golden Gate Park on one side I could see downtown's skyscrapers. Everything began to grown as if a beast was Awakening. The next thing I know white horns Slither the top section a mouth opened up in the middle and this world begin to speak to me. I recognize the voice to be the devil. He conveyed The Continuous sinful nature and how easy it was for him to predict man's sinful ways how it has been going on and on for all of time. How easy we are all to see than trick out of our souls the existence of man was broken down in second that felt like forever but lasted only a short time then just like that bam I was back in the room walking around there was a neon green net that greeted the room everyone was connected through this net and everyone could pass through it it was insane but real the feelings and emotions of each person were conveyed through these ropes. This experience shaped my future and made me and my son's mother break up because of a continuous path of Destruction over the next few years till I stopped using everything this drug effect in my thoughts for 8 months and my outlook on life forever. It's all it made me was Stronger the information the devil began to use to try to persuade me onto his side only began to make me trust in God more and seek God love. To this day I'm thankful for that choice and during the times of delay I found the gratification not that gratifying anymore. It is only a roadblock to the real gratification The Continuous gratification when you quit and stop.
Chapter 7
