I laid in my bed, silenced by my loudest of thoughts, paralyzed by the deepest of my pains. Uncertain of what could be happening to me.

I have loved, I have been there, always ready for a jump. I have cared, I have been there, always ready to nurture, but when it is my turn, my turn to be loved, cared for and in need for a little act of kindness and longing compassion, eyes have gone blind and ears deaf.

My heart screams, at the highest peek, would that make you love me back, you see not the tears that rolls down my face, you see not the cracks in my eyes, you hear not the cracks in my voice. You hear me not.

I wish you could look closely, bend over and hear me much clearer. I wish you could hold me so tight and feel the beat of my broken heart. I wish you could, for once drop it all and hold on to me, for once. I wish you could.

I sit in my pool of thoughts, exhausted I laid down in the waves of the pain that flows in my heart. Am I such a fool? What could possibly take away the pain I feel? What could make it all go away?
Should I stop loving, should I throw that away?
Always ready for jump I am but not a single puddle can you cross over but stare right at me wanting my all. I climbed the highest of skyscrapers, swam the widest of oceans, no wave, no storm was ever wild enough to stop me from loving you, but in here, in the brokenness of my love for you, this has been the time that lasted a lifetime.


© Amalia N.K Haikali