Today I started to realise again — how alone I am.

Every time I met someone who would act as if they felt the same or show me that they have the capacity to love me back to the amount I love them it falters

Do I ask too much? Probably.

May be to be loved back as I have loved them is too much.

Now I am sitting on the edge of my bed, devoured by the same feelings: that sad melancholic froths in my bones that tends to come & go as it pleases as if it knows I am its nests or hosts

While some parts of me that’s given up just wanted to collapse & let it take over me but the other part is longing to be reconciled with that it will just leave for good

What’s of me that I cannot even comprehend?

I am rechecking my luggage for Japan & Singapore today but the breeze of something else is aching me. It is taking over my excitement that I am unreachable even though I am not.

Ah! Alas! The September air is so dense, Spring is softly lamenting on her own as am I.

May your day has been tender to you — I wish nothing but that —

D C de Oliveira || September 4 2023 || Forlornly, September Dews || Monday 7.59am
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