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Whose Life is This Anyway
This could happen to anyone, right? Why me?
That's the question that embarks upon us all at some trying point in our lives. But for me, this was the question from my birth. I'm sure that from the moment my eyes saw light as an infant, my crying was the direct result of me not being able to communicate that sentiment. Guarantee I was thinking just that; why me?
What is destiny? Do we call it destiny that we are all going to die? If so; is that everyone's true destiny? Is it destiny that brings us face to face with death? By definition, I guess that would be the case. No other thing in between can actually be your destiny because you made decisions that led you to all your problems in love, finance, education and so on. So nothing in life is really by chance or true destiny; but meeting death. It's all just a matter of when you meet your end that destiny truly decides.
Anyways, I've gotten off topic. where was I?
Oh yeah, why me.....
Laying in my cot in my detox dorm staring at the discolored ceiling tiles I think aloud to nobody but myself.
"Why me?"
This is not my first time in this place. I hope to God it will be my last.
The familiar smell of urine, vomit, shit and bleach is nauseating. The comfort medication are a joke. Nothing comforting about them. My legs kick and my body cannot regulate its temperature. I sweat even though I'm cold and I freeze even though I am hot. Why me?
I close my eyes and think back to the point where my life became a total failure. Unfortunately I was far too young to remember.
I laugh to myself because I know I'm thinking irrationally. Of course my life wasn't always this fucked up.
I was a high-school drop-out, but received my GED without studying. I had a score in the top ten in the state. It was always easy for me to meet people and had a knack for persuasion. It was my destiny to be in sales.
Destiny? There's that word again. Was it really my destiny? Whatever!
I excelled in every sales job I had for much of my career in sales. From selling cars to selling cell phones, I was always at the top.
So selling drugs was a no-brainer! I mean, they sold themselves! Man, what a fucking dip shit. What the fuck was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? I mean everything was fast. The money, the women, the parties the fun. It was addicting. Who doesn't want to run there own business?
Where did I go wrong? Oh-yeah, when I started using my own product, that's when.
Why me? I'll tell you, why me. Because it's the destiny of an addict and street hustler to either wind up in prison, institutions or dead. Well here I am.
(To be continued..)
© Kinga77
That's the question that embarks upon us all at some trying point in our lives. But for me, this was the question from my birth. I'm sure that from the moment my eyes saw light as an infant, my crying was the direct result of me not being able to communicate that sentiment. Guarantee I was thinking just that; why me?
What is destiny? Do we call it destiny that we are all going to die? If so; is that everyone's true destiny? Is it destiny that brings us face to face with death? By definition, I guess that would be the case. No other thing in between can actually be your destiny because you made decisions that led you to all your problems in love, finance, education and so on. So nothing in life is really by chance or true destiny; but meeting death. It's all just a matter of when you meet your end that destiny truly decides.
Anyways, I've gotten off topic. where was I?
Oh yeah, why me.....
Laying in my cot in my detox dorm staring at the discolored ceiling tiles I think aloud to nobody but myself.
"Why me?"
This is not my first time in this place. I hope to God it will be my last.
The familiar smell of urine, vomit, shit and bleach is nauseating. The comfort medication are a joke. Nothing comforting about them. My legs kick and my body cannot regulate its temperature. I sweat even though I'm cold and I freeze even though I am hot. Why me?
I close my eyes and think back to the point where my life became a total failure. Unfortunately I was far too young to remember.
I laugh to myself because I know I'm thinking irrationally. Of course my life wasn't always this fucked up.
I was a high-school drop-out, but received my GED without studying. I had a score in the top ten in the state. It was always easy for me to meet people and had a knack for persuasion. It was my destiny to be in sales.
Destiny? There's that word again. Was it really my destiny? Whatever!
I excelled in every sales job I had for much of my career in sales. From selling cars to selling cell phones, I was always at the top.
So selling drugs was a no-brainer! I mean, they sold themselves! Man, what a fucking dip shit. What the fuck was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? I mean everything was fast. The money, the women, the parties the fun. It was addicting. Who doesn't want to run there own business?
Where did I go wrong? Oh-yeah, when I started using my own product, that's when.
Why me? I'll tell you, why me. Because it's the destiny of an addict and street hustler to either wind up in prison, institutions or dead. Well here I am.
(To be continued..)
© Kinga77
