I believe in no one. I believe in nothing. My families belief is in god. My belief is in myself. My goal is to make it out alive. My goal is to live to the fullest. I run through my own path. I create my own belief. In my head I imagine the way the world was created. The way animals and people were created. In my head I imagine a world with equality towards everyone.

If believing in no one will cause me to go to hell I’ll accept the price. If loving someone is a sin I’ll happily go to hell. If being who I am without hiding myself is wrong in the eyes of god I’ll walk to hell myself. Everything I am; everything I have become is the epiphany of wrong. I might be a sinner in others eyes but in my eyes I'm just a person who makes mistakes like everyone. I'm just a normal person who loves and loves but my love isn't for men.

This god I don’t believe in might see me as a sinner. His followers could repeat their same words to me. But at the end of the day my life is still mine. I'm the only one who can control my path. No one will stop me from doing what I like. I don’t want to be controlled by this god. I don’t want to follow a path that isn’t meant for me. I don't want to be a part of something I can't believe in completely.

One day I want people to understand my words. One day I want people to hear my words. I want them not to judge or hate my words. I want them to understand that even though I'm not their standered of right I'm still a person. Even if I'm not the type of person they invision everyone to be I'm still a living person with feelings and a heart. I want them to treat me as a human; to see me as a human. I want them to stop judging and hurting me for loving who I love. I want the hate to end throughout the world.

I love who I want. I don’t control my heart. My heart controls me. I wasn’t made lesbian; I was born lesbian. I was born to love a woman. I was born to live my own life in the way I'd like. Not to live it and devote it to a god I don't wish to believe in. People might judge me for my words but I speak my truth. People might try to hurt me for being me but it won't change me. People might send hate towards me but I'll never let it affect me because I have more in my life to live for.

© Sammy Ayala