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Gardenia
The vast verdancy of trees swaying beneath me sends a mellow thrum through my being. As I sit atop the cliff, watching the world move, thoughts swarm my mind. Ideas of how to spend my time make it impossible to get anything done. I sigh and rise from my secret spot, this was supposed to be my thinking time but I’m exhausted with my thoughts. I head back to the village with no plan, no specific destination in mind. Maybe I’ll find myself at Mama Igaroo’s hut while she’s cooking her famous okra fish stew. Or I might find Master Zedi’s lost training sword and turn it in for the prize he’s advertised. Though I know it’s not missing, the village talks. His students hid it somewhere along the shoreline. They were tired of Zedi’s new training methods, apparently he’s gotten quite harsh recently. Nobody blames him though, he’s suffered the most these past few moons. His entire hut succumbed to a strange illness, one he has yet to speak to anyone about in detail. Some rumour he killed his family, but I find it hard to believe. Zedi meditates daily, he is by far the most peaceful soul. Despite his intensive warrior like build, and eyes that seem to see straight through you, his aura tells of no evil intent. Even that one time during lessons when I was a student of his, before everything changed. He knocked me down so hard I swore he was out to get me. Everytime I regained my balance, shifted my weight and gripped my hilt exactly how he’d taught me, I was back down on the ground before I realized he was as close as he’d gotten. “Milaya!” A shrill voice pulled me from the gruesome memory, and i swiveled around to see who’d called for me. My lip began to lift on its corner, as I plastered a look of confusion across my face. “That’s strange, I thought I heard something,” I said, scratching my head. “Milaya, I’m right here!” the tiny voice shrieked again. My grin became unhideable as I continued my sherade. I kept my gaze leveled with my height, frantically searching for my caller. “I wish whoever was there would show themselves,” I sighed. A small foot swung my way, despite its impressive speed, I caught it by the ankle. Dangling in front of me now was a giggling Liyeshi. “Put me down!” She screeched, kicking and laughing. “You shouldn’t put such dirty feet on people Liyeshi, this is criminal,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows and crinkling my nose at the abomination. “Milaya it’s serious!” Liyeshi screams. I dropped the village girl and she landed on her feet like a cat. As devious as she is, i’d think she was one in numerous past lives. “Master Zedi is sick, and he’s calling for you!” the young girl frantically blurts out. My entire body stiffened, and my knees almost buckled beneath me. Things were different between Zedi and I now. We stopped training secretly on the beach together. We stopped sneaking out late at night, chasing eachother through the forest. When we passed eachother nowadays, we didn’t even spare a glance in the others direction. He’d been at Mama Lalasonti’s shop when I’d run in one day for some fabric my Mama sent me for. As soon as I spotted his tall body lounging against the wall like he owned the place, I turned on my heels like i’d spotted a predator and high tailed it out of there. That was four days ago, and I hadn’t had any run ins with him since. He’d seemed perfectly fine, still as big and strong as always, I couldn’t imagine him being sick so suddenly- and calling for me of all people. I gulped, regaining myself and locked eyes with Liyeshi. “Where is he?” I asked her. “He’s in his hut-”i didn’t let her finish, as I took off towards the sun, as it always set in his direction this time of day. I knocked on the wooden door to Zedi’s hut, completely out of breath. I gripped my side as it ached sharply, I don’t know if i even breathed during the run here. The door creaked open, and a small Leo stood in front of me. Leo is the boy with no parents. He has no home, he sleeps wherever he pleases. The village looks out for him, and he looks out for the sick and elderly. He recognized me and stepped aside, opening the door wider to let me inside. As I entered, the smell of Mama Igaroo’s ginger lime tea, and a hint of her okra fish stew wafted through the air. I instantly spotted her small body hunched over several pots and pans in Zedi’s beautiful kitchen. His home was always beautiful, always changing. He’d always bring in goods from his travels to decorate his home with, he truly had an eye for beauty. “Where is Master Zedi?” I ask Leo, noting to greet Mama Igaroo later. His eyes track my every movement. He must wonder why Zedi would call for me, and I don’t blame him. No one knew the side of Zedi I’d known. The sweet, gentle romantic man he was deep down. He’d always been known as a harsh leader, a warrior. He was the strongest, most agile fighter our village had seen in decades, and he possessed gifts nobody could understand. Fire would bloom from his fingertips when he was angry, though he’d never actually burned anyone before. Though people feared him, he was truly a trickster in the most loving way. He pushed his students to be the best they could be, took time to learn what their personal abilities were and helped them hone its power. Leo led me to the back of the hut where Zedi’s bedroom was. I took a deep breath before twisting the doorknob. A potent scent of herbs hit my nostrils. In the center of the room on a circular bed covered in various fur blankets, lies a sweating and clearly not well Zedi. I turn back to the door where Leo stands, and he nods at me before closing the door, shutting Zedi and I in alone. I carefully walk to the side of the bed, not knowing what to expect. “Milaya, you came,” He finally says, his voice raspy and tired. “Of course I’d come Zedi.” The question I’d been wanting to ask since Liyeshi found me in town came to the front of my mind. “Why did you ask me here?” My eyes lock with his, and he doesn’t look away when he speaks. “You’re a healer, and I need you. I don’t want to go like the others,” he says to me. Tears prickle in my eyes, and I look down at my hands. “You won’t go like the others, I won’t allow it,” I say. “Come here Milaya,” his eyes land on the spot beside him on his lucious bed. I climb in beside him, pulling a bearskin cover off of him to reveal his heavily labouring chest. I shudder and take in a deep breath, placing my hands on him. His chest is burning to the touch, and he instantly relaxes as I caress him. I close my eyes, calling my life force energy forward. I dig hard, past all of the pain that still sits freshly where our love used to live. Past the betrayal, the hurt. I call forward my gift, and I bring it down to my hands. I would not lose him again. My heart space began to vibrate, as a song I did not recognize escaped my throat. I hummed the healing vibration, aiming directly at his heart. This sickness was spiritual. I called forward the darkness trying to take him, illuminating it with my light. Zedi’s eyes began to roll backwards, and I reached my left hand forward to grip his face, angling it towards me. “Zedi, I need you to see me,” I demand. His eyes refocus, and they lock with mine. Only then do I notice he’s crying. “Breathe, you’re alright my love,” I remind him. He closes his eyes, breathing with less labor. His body relaxes further, as orange light surrounds us. I bring my head to his, and as our foreheads collide a shock ripples through my being. Someone has clearly cursed him, and when I find out who I’m going to tap into something much stronger than healing. A laugh ripples through Zedi, and I move to look at him. “Calm down firefly, I believe you’ve already broken the curse,” he says, looking up at me. A puzzled expression overcomes my face. “I didn’t say that out loud.” “No, you didn’t. Must’ve been the telepathy,” he says grinning. A chord had formed between us the first time our eyes locked. But as soon as things went left between us, I’d cut the chord to help me move on from him. It hadn’t worked, and healing him must have reconnected us. I laughed, and looked around us. His room was my favourite room in his home, he’d truly created a sanctuary here. An arm wrapped around my waist, and I was
pulled down to the sea of furs beside him. He didn’t remove his arm from me as he stared into my eyes warmly. “I’ve missed you Milaya, you have no idea how hard it’s been without you here,” he says to me. The pain I’d pushed aside to heal him comes rushing back to the surface, and I look away from him. “Then why’d you push me away?” I ask. The night where everything changed replays in my mind. I had just finished baking forty-five banana coconut pies for the Return of Sea festival, and had been dropping them off at Mama Igaroo’s. And that’s when I saw him. Standing at Lelawo’s jewelry cart was Zedi, placing a necklace around the neck of a village girl. She was smiling from ear to ear, and she’d hugged him so tightly. Then he saw me, and his face went still. I’d ran all the way home without stopping, ignoring his cries for me to turn around and speak to him. I cried for moons, everyday I had about five minutes of peace when I woke up before remembering it all. I rarely left my hut, even missed the Return of Sea festival despite slaving away over those delicious cakes. Zedi visited my hut several times, but I told Mama to say I wasn’t home. Eventually, he’d stopped showing up. I stopped coming to lessons, stopped meeting him in secret. What hurt most wasn’t even the fact he’d been with another girl. It’s the fact we were always hiding, never showing our love in front of the village. Seeing him display such intimacy with someone in front of town, while we had to plan secret meetup arrangements in the forest like children broke my heart. And before seeing him in town, we’d already been meeting less. He’d been a lot more busy than usual, so I’d busied myself with cooking for the village and working in my herb garden. I didn’t ask about it, but it did bother me. But I didn’t want to bother him with my concerns when he’d clearly been needed elsewhere. However if I’d known elsewhere was with other women, I would have removed myself before getting my feelings involved. Zedi’s thumb caresses the back of my hand, bringing me back to the present. I shudder at his touch, pulling away from him. “I didn’t mean to push you away, I just-” he sighs, rubbing the space between his eyebrows. “I was confused Milaya. There was so much going on, so much I wanted you to be apart of but you were never around. Abiola, well she sort of just happened. We did a lot of the same things, and she was always around. But I didn’t feel for her the way I felt for you. I wanted you there beside me, but you’d never tell me how you felt. We hadn’t established what we were doing, I thought meeting in secret was how you preferred things and I wanted more than that. You never let me explain myself Milaya.” His words hit me like a smack across the face, and my body went cold. I’d never wanted the secrecy, I wanted to love him everywhere, in all the ways, all the time. But I felt like what I really wanted would ruin his hard boy reputation, so I kept my true desires to myself. Zedi was my other piece, he brought be back down to earth whenever I began to fly too high. He knew me better than anyone else, which is why I was puzzled by his response. “I’d wanted nothing more than to be with you,” I say. “When you’d been busy working, I told myself the world needed you more than I did, and I let you do what I thought you needed to do. You’d never completely opened up to me, never told me how you felt. I thought hiding around was something you preferred, and I honestly didn’t mind as long as I’d be spending time with you. But I never saw anyone else, and I didn’t assume you were doing so either. That’s what hurt me Zedi,” I tell him as tears begin to soak the fur blanket beneath my face. “Look at me,” he says. Slowly, I raise my gaze to find his, penetrating mine deeply. “I never meant to hurt you Milaya. Not a day passed where I didn’t think of you, I’ve missed you more than my words could ever convey. I wish we’d told one another how we felt, It could have all been so simple,” he sighs. I blink slowly, taking in his bright brown eyes. “Well let me make things clear then,” I say. “You are who I want. You are who I want to spend my days with. I want to see the world with you, create one with you. And I want nothing else.” His hands caress my face, pulling it toward him as his lips brush against mine. “You are who I want,” He says against me, his voice rumbling deep between us. I put my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. All the tension between us dissipates as our bodies collide, limbs tangling with eachother. He pulls and I tug until we’re as close as we can be, merging as one. Our love vibrates in the air around us, shifting and moving as we fight to get closer to the other. As the air cools, and my body lays limply on top of his, the words i’ve been wanting to say since we talked come to mind. “Zedi, I’m sorry for not hearing you out,” I tell him, looking him right in his eyes. “I forgive you. I’m sorry for not telling you how I felt, for leaving you to question everything alone,” he responds, gently caressing the side of my hairline. “I forgive you,” I say. “We have a lot of making up to do,” he rumbles and rolls over, tugging me along with him. He plants a soft kiss on my forehead, now on his arms above me. “Indeed we do,” I smile, perching myself up on my elbows to meet him face to face. We talk and make love throughout the night, all traces of illness removed from Zedi’s home. At some point, Mama Igaroo and Leo must have left, as Zedi and I enjoyed the remnants of stew and tea she’d left behind. Time flew, and our life together began. We’d travelled to new places, bringing back ornaments for our home. We meditated together, rode our lions in town side by side, hand in hand. Nine full moons later, Zedi and I had welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the home we’d built on the shore. And together, we healed. We grew, learning together and teaching the youth of the village so they could carry lessons on forward. We raised our children happily, teaching them gratitude and how to care for the land. And together Zedi and I lived happily ever after.
The end :)
© Yazzythealien