Still to this day I never could ever understand why my mom treated me the way she did but I guess that I will never know the truth and that . Most of all things that were not supposed to happen but they did and they wonder why they way that had I turned out to be and if my dad only knew the truth but it will never get brought up . What made me think about writing my book and telling the truth about everything I keep having dreams about me and my family in most of these dreams I get married to someone who cares about me and I'm finally Happy but also that I'm afraid of a having relationship with someone who will understand what I've been through and let them want them to be with me . it's has gotten to the point of would they want to with someone who has a life that no one is going to be with that person I had spent most of my life having a mom who really never loved all that much it hurt me in a lot of ways because I did try to show her love and affection she didn't want to have anything to do with that or that my feelings were never supposed to shown at all . Now when it came to my two older sisters and my younger brother she was always showing them love and affection and doing things with them but not me


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