Artic Merboy & the Mystical Frosty Sea Bident
Starring a 9-year-old Instagram model and actor star, Charlie Russell
Charlie Russell is a nine-year-old child who enjoys listening to modeling, acting, reviewing toys, riding on his scooter and reading. He is creative and funny, but can also be very sneaky and a bit quite.
He is a British Christian. He is currently at school. He is allergic to a certain animal.
Physically, Charlie is in pretty good shape. He is average-height for his age with pale skin, blonde hair and brown eyes.
He lives in a working class neighborhood with parents and brother. His mother and father have been together for 6 years ago, his father is an admin assistant called Frank and his mother is a homemaker.
Charlie goes to Aqua underwater School, where his favorite subjects are P.E. and art. He loves his teacher Mr Lucas but hates Miss Terry whose interests include handing out extra homework.
Charlie's best friend is a child named Freddie Russell. They get along all of the time. He also hangs around with Paisley Mair and Kaycee Monroe. They enjoy games and movies together.
Charlie's superhero suit looks like a simple jumpsuit with mermaid tale designed in pastel blue, pastel magenta, metallic, and white. It also includes an Ancient Greek pitchfork and inertial dampers while his powers are controlling air, manipulating water, shape shifting snow and freezing anything. Not to mention, he got his powers when he volunteered for a military experiment involving an alien from another dimension.
And so, here's how his origins goes...
A long, long time ago in a frosty, frosty galaxy...
After leaving the icy planet Tatooine , a group of merpeople swim toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a breezy, vast icy underwater school.
Civil war strikes the icy planet Tatooine by Queen Dehydra, a hot air dragon droid capable of arson and even kidnap, who rules the heat wave galaxy .
Terrified, merboys - Charlie and Freddie Russell with their protector, a cold-blooded mermaid imp flees from the captivity of the Empire.
They head for Shanghaipool on the planet Earth . When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Charlie uses his frosty sea bident to defend his brother Freddie.
Charlie, Freddie and their protector the cold-blooded mermaid imp decide it's time to leave Earth and snag a Aerohovercraft to blast their way out.
They encounter a tribe of hammer head shark humanoids . Freddie is attacked and their protector the cold-blooded mermaid imp is captured by the hammer head shark humanoid and taken back to Shanghaipool.
Now Charlie must fight to save Freddie and their protector the cold-blooded mermaid imp but when he accidentally unearths a snowy heat wave blade, the entire future of the frosty, icy underwater galaxy is at stake.
'Artic Merboys & the Galactic Frosty Heat Wave Wars'
A Screenplay by Joel Flickstein
EXT. ICY PLANET TATOOINE - AFTERNOON
Creative seafoodmonger CADET CHARLIE RUSSELL is horseplaying with a funny protector, AGENT COLD-BLOODED MERMAID IMP. CHARLIE tries to roughhouse with the agent, but she shakes him off.
CHARLIE:
Please cold-blooded, don't shun me.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
I'm sorry Charlie, but I'm not looking to roughhouse. Remember I'm tough loving, instead of a fighter and I only get scrap when I have too.
CHARLIE:
I am such a person!
AGENT MERMAID IMP turns his smile upsidedown.
COLD-BLOODED:
I'm sorry, Charlie. I just don't feel to be brave unless I have too.
AGENT MERMAID IMP goes for a swim around the riverbend.
CHARLIE slumps down a wall, looking bored.
Moments later, courageous seafoodmonger CADET FREDDIE RUSSELL barges in looking ruffled.
CHARLIE:
Goodness, Freddie! Are you alright?
FREDDIE:
I'm afraid not.
CHARLIE:
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
FREDDIE:
It's ... hammer head humanoid sharks ... I saw evil hammer head humanoid sharks terrorize a bunch of merpeople!
CHARLIE:
Defenseless merpeople?
FREDDIE:
Yes, defenseless merpeople!
CHARLIE:
Jippidy' jepody, Freddie! We've got to do something.
FREDDIE:
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
CHARLIE:
You can start by telling me where this happened.
FREDDIE:
I was...
FREDDIE fans himself and begins to wheeze.
CHARLIE:
Focus Freddie, focus! Where did it happen?
FREDDIE:
The icy underwater school! That's right - icy underwater school!
CHARLIE springs up and begins to swim followed by FREDDIE.
FADE TO:
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
CHARLIE rushes along the waves, followed by FREDDIE. They take a short cut through some back water gardens, jumping seaweed fences along the way.
FADE TO:
EXT. ICY UNDERWATER SCHOOL - SHORTLY AFTER
DEHYDRA THE HOTHEADED DRAGONDROID is blowing flames over the water, while enflamed hammer head humanoid sharks terrorizes two merpeople underwater.
CHARLIE, closely followed by FREDDIE, leaps out of the water towards DEHYDRA to slap her with his fin, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
FREDDIE:
What is is? What's the matter?
CHARLIE:
That's not just any old dragon, that's Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid!
FREDDIE:
So!
CHARLIE:
That hotheaded dragondroid will dehydrate me, dry me out with her hot breath.
FREDDIE:
Jimmidy flippers, Charlie! We gotta go get some backup if we're going to defeat the most enflamed dragonoid in the galaxy!
CHARLIE:
You can say that again.
FREDDIE:
Jimmi...
CHARLIE:
Don't repeat me, I was kidding. I'm going to have get the snowy heat wave blade.
Dehydra turns and sees Charlie and Freddie underwater. She grins an evil grin.
DEHYDRA:
Charlie Russell, we meet again.
FREDDIE:
Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?
CHARLIE:
I didn't want anybody to know until the time was right, besides it was a long, long time ago...
FREDDIE:
How could a worst time like this be the right time?
CHARLIE:
Sometimes the right time is when you're mature enough to find out for yourself at the wrong time so you'll be wise enough to know how to deal with it.
FADE TO:
EXT. A SWIMMING POOL - BACK IN TIME
A young CHARLIE is swimming in a pool playing marco-polo while listening to some reggae music, when suddenly a dark dragon shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees DEHYDRA. He emerges under the water.
DEHYDRA:
Don't be afraid, Charlie, I won't harm you. Would you like some sea gums?
CHARLIE resurfaces and looks up; as his eyes light up, but then he studies DEHYDRA more closely, and looks uneasy.
CHARLIE:
I don't know, you look kind of enflamed.
DEHYDRA:
Me? No. I'm not enflamed. I'm the least enflamed dragonoid in the world.
CHARLIE:
Wait, you're a dragonoid?
DEHYDRA:
That is correct.
CHARLIE:
What do you want from me?
DEHYDRA:
Oh, it's better to give then to get what's coming to you. Just take these sea gums and find out.
CHARLIE emerges under the water once again, but he can't hold his breath forever and resurfaces; he gasps for air and Dehydra tosses three seagums in his mouth before emerging back under the water.
Underwater, CHARLIE begins to transfigure into a Merman and Dehydra cast a spell over the waters to turn humans into merpeople and the entire land into an icy watery planet called Tatooine.
FADE TO:
EXT. ICY UNDERWATER SCHOOL - PRESENT DAY
DEHYDRA:
You were a little worm then, and you are a little worm now.
FREDDIE:
(To CHARLIE) You had been given superpowers the volunteer experimental program, and you backed out of facing her?
CHARLIE:
(To FREDDIE) I was a young kid. I didn't know what I knew now. What was I supposed to do?
CHARLIE turns to DEHYDRA.
CHARLIE:
I may have backed out of it then, but I won't back down this time!
CHARLIE emerges deep underwater, gaining speed.
He turns back and rebounds our if the water to shout in mid-air to her face.
CHARLIE:
I mean, I am turning tail, but I'll be back - with a snowy heat wave blade.
DEHYDRA:
Oh, I quiver with fear.
CHARLIE:
You should be.
As CHARLIE drives back into to water, his fin slaps Dehydra in the face.
FADE TO:
EXT. SHANGHAIPOOL ON PLANET EARTH - LATER THAT DAY
CHARLIE and FREDDIE swim around in a watery icy cavern searching for something.
CHARLIE:
I feel sure I left my snowy heat wave blade somewhere around here.
FREDDIE:
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly snowy heat wave blade.
CHARLIE:
You know nothing Freddie.
FREDDIE:
It seems like we've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, DEHYDRA appears in both of the boys' mind's eye, holding a pair of snowy heat wave blade.
DEHYDRA:
Looking for something?
FREDDIE:
Crikedy Charlie, she's got your snowy heat wave blade.
CHARLIE:
Tell me something I don't already know!
FREDDIE:
You underestimate my smartness. The other day, dad gave me a one-dollar bill
‘Cause I’m his smartest son,
and I swapped it for two shiny quarters
‘Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters, and traded them to Lou
for three dimes– I guess he don’t know
that three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates, and just ‘cause he can’t see. He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
and four is more than three!
And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
down at the seed feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them, and five is more than four!
And then I went and showed my dad,
and he got red in the cheeks, and closed his eyes and shook his head –
I guess he was too proud of me to speak!
CHARLIE looks at FREDDIE and shakes his head.
CHARLIE:
(To FREDDIE)
There's a big difference in being smart and make good grades. You're smart, but what you lack is understanding of money!
FREDDIE:
Oh, well, I'm afraid of dehydration by heat and fire.
DEHYDRA
(Easedropping and sarcasticly) Shall I pull you out the water?
While DEHYDRA is looking at FREDDIE scornfully through their mind's eye, CHARLIE lunges forward while the door is open to the portal of her world and grabs his snowy heat wave blade. He wields them, triumphantly.
CHARLIE:
Prepare to freeze and spontaneous combust into flames, you-you enflamed red and green string bean looking algae!
DEHYDRA:
No please! All I did was terrorize a bunch of merpeople!
FREDDIE:
And, let's not forget made merpeople out of the human race and turned earth into an icy underwater wetland.
DEHYDRA:
Ah, yes, that too.
AGENT MERMAID IMP enters, unseen by any of the others.
CHARLIE:
I cannot tolerate that kind of behavior! Those merpeople were defenseless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Charlie Russell defender of the innocent merpeople.
DEHYDRA:
You a defender. (She scornfully laughs) Don't hurt me! Please!
CHARLIE:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use this snowy heat wave blade on you right away!
DEHYDRA:
Because Charlie, I am your mother, who has been turned into a dragon.
CHARLIE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
CHARLIE:
No you're not! My mother is taking pix of me right now and posting them on my Instagram page.
CHARLIE turns to glance at the camera with a big smirk on his face, then faces Dehydra again in the portal of his mind's eye.
DEHYDRA:
Ah heck, it was worth the shot.
DEHYDRA tries to grab the snowy heat wave blade through the portal of his mind's eye, but CHARLIE sumersults out of the way and she faints before he slices off her head from her bindside.
CHARLIE:
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, DEHYDRA slumps to the ground.
FREDDIE:
Did she just faint? And where did her head go?
CHARLIE
Yes, and I don't know. It just disappeared, and that was disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, like a body freezing than engulfs into flames followed by a spontaneous combustion, involving my deadly snowy heat wave blade.
FREDDIE:
There's something you didn't know, that stuff only happens in the movies and not in real life.
CHARLIE crouches over DEHYDRA's body.
FREDDIE:
Be careful, Charlie. She could be playing a mind game with you.
CHARLIE:
No, it's no mind game. It appears that... It would seem... Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid is dead!
FREDDIE:
What?
CHARLIE:
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death just before I cut off her head.
FREDDIE claps his hands.
FREDDIE:
So your snowy heat wave blade did save the day, after all.
AGENT MERMAID IMP steps forward.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Did it really happen? Did you slay the dragonoid and send her enflamed hammer head humanoid sharks back where they came from?
CHARLIE:
Agent Mermaid imp, how long have you been...?
AGENT MERMAID IMP tries to put CHARLIE in a headlock and tries to roughhouse with him.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Long enough. Wanna squabble now?
CHARLIE shakes her off and shimmies away.
CHARLIE:
Then, you saw it for yourself. I slayed Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid.
FREDDIE:
And I witnessed it.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Then, the merpeople are safe?
CHARLIE:
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable merpeople enter, looking relived. Suddenly, there's a shift in the atmosphere, and all the merpeople change back into humans as the icy underwater land transfigures also back into normal earth.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Hot diggity frog! When you slayed her you reversed the spell over all of us. You are out hero.
The once merpeople but now humans bow to CHARLIE.
CHARLIE:
Please don't bow to me. I seek no worship, and I'm no God. The knowledge that Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid will never terrorize and keep us bound under her spell as merpeople ever again, is enough for me.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the merpeople passes CHARLIE a mystical frosty sea bident.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
CHARLIE:
I couldn't possibly, besides what's the use for it, we're humans now.
Pause.
CHARLIE:
All-alright, if you insist. I'm sure I could use it to pick up hay and to do the mystical with it.
CHARLIE takes the frosty sea bident.
CHARLIE:
Thank you.
The merpeople turned humans bow their heads once more, and return to their normal lives on earth.
CHARLIE turns to AGENT MERMAID IMP.
CHARLIE:
And where were you to protect me?
FREDDIE:
Yah, wasn't you supposed to be his protector!
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Oh, children children, of course I always had your backs.
CHARLIE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
CHARLIE:
Oh, really. Well, you were the one who turntail.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
WHAT?
CHARLIE:
You won't brave when you were supposed to be, and you had no faith in me. You had to see me scare a flamboyant dragonoid to death to make hammer head humanoid sharks go vamos before you would believe in me. Then, here you come running back to me, thinking you're gonna get some kinda reward. No, I don't think so and I don't want a lovable protector like that.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
But...
CHARLIE:
Please go. You're mummy's calling ya. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend and brother, Freddie.
FREDDIE blushingly grins.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
But...
FREDDIE:
You heard the kid king. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Charlie?
CHARLIE:
I'm sorry Agent Mermaid imp, but I think you should skidaddle. Your service with me has been terminated.
AGENT MERMAID IMP leaves as he notices that he is like a fish out of water, because he hasn't changed into a human; so he flips all the way to the nearest sea.
FREDDIE turns to CHARLIE.
FREDDIE:
Did you really mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
CHARLIE:
Of course you are! Blood is thicker than water.
FREDDIE:
And sticks closer in adversity.
The two shimmie off arm in arm and toy in hand.
Suddenly, FREDDIE stops.
FREDDIE:
Wait, how did these toys get into out hands?
CHARLIE:
Beats me? But, they are kinda cool. Let's go do a toy review.
Suddenly, FREDDIE stops again.
FREDDIE:
When I said I'm afraid of dehydration by heat and fire, you know I was just trying to distract dragonoid don't you?
THE END
© Joel Peter Brown
Charlie Russell is a nine-year-old child who enjoys listening to modeling, acting, reviewing toys, riding on his scooter and reading. He is creative and funny, but can also be very sneaky and a bit quite.
He is a British Christian. He is currently at school. He is allergic to a certain animal.
Physically, Charlie is in pretty good shape. He is average-height for his age with pale skin, blonde hair and brown eyes.
He lives in a working class neighborhood with parents and brother. His mother and father have been together for 6 years ago, his father is an admin assistant called Frank and his mother is a homemaker.
Charlie goes to Aqua underwater School, where his favorite subjects are P.E. and art. He loves his teacher Mr Lucas but hates Miss Terry whose interests include handing out extra homework.
Charlie's best friend is a child named Freddie Russell. They get along all of the time. He also hangs around with Paisley Mair and Kaycee Monroe. They enjoy games and movies together.
Charlie's superhero suit looks like a simple jumpsuit with mermaid tale designed in pastel blue, pastel magenta, metallic, and white. It also includes an Ancient Greek pitchfork and inertial dampers while his powers are controlling air, manipulating water, shape shifting snow and freezing anything. Not to mention, he got his powers when he volunteered for a military experiment involving an alien from another dimension.
And so, here's how his origins goes...
A long, long time ago in a frosty, frosty galaxy...
After leaving the icy planet Tatooine , a group of merpeople swim toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a breezy, vast icy underwater school.
Civil war strikes the icy planet Tatooine by Queen Dehydra, a hot air dragon droid capable of arson and even kidnap, who rules the heat wave galaxy .
Terrified, merboys - Charlie and Freddie Russell with their protector, a cold-blooded mermaid imp flees from the captivity of the Empire.
They head for Shanghaipool on the planet Earth . When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Charlie uses his frosty sea bident to defend his brother Freddie.
Charlie, Freddie and their protector the cold-blooded mermaid imp decide it's time to leave Earth and snag a Aerohovercraft to blast their way out.
They encounter a tribe of hammer head shark humanoids . Freddie is attacked and their protector the cold-blooded mermaid imp is captured by the hammer head shark humanoid and taken back to Shanghaipool.
Now Charlie must fight to save Freddie and their protector the cold-blooded mermaid imp but when he accidentally unearths a snowy heat wave blade, the entire future of the frosty, icy underwater galaxy is at stake.
'Artic Merboys & the Galactic Frosty Heat Wave Wars'
A Screenplay by Joel Flickstein
EXT. ICY PLANET TATOOINE - AFTERNOON
Creative seafoodmonger CADET CHARLIE RUSSELL is horseplaying with a funny protector, AGENT COLD-BLOODED MERMAID IMP. CHARLIE tries to roughhouse with the agent, but she shakes him off.
CHARLIE:
Please cold-blooded, don't shun me.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
I'm sorry Charlie, but I'm not looking to roughhouse. Remember I'm tough loving, instead of a fighter and I only get scrap when I have too.
CHARLIE:
I am such a person!
AGENT MERMAID IMP turns his smile upsidedown.
COLD-BLOODED:
I'm sorry, Charlie. I just don't feel to be brave unless I have too.
AGENT MERMAID IMP goes for a swim around the riverbend.
CHARLIE slumps down a wall, looking bored.
Moments later, courageous seafoodmonger CADET FREDDIE RUSSELL barges in looking ruffled.
CHARLIE:
Goodness, Freddie! Are you alright?
FREDDIE:
I'm afraid not.
CHARLIE:
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
FREDDIE:
It's ... hammer head humanoid sharks ... I saw evil hammer head humanoid sharks terrorize a bunch of merpeople!
CHARLIE:
Defenseless merpeople?
FREDDIE:
Yes, defenseless merpeople!
CHARLIE:
Jippidy' jepody, Freddie! We've got to do something.
FREDDIE:
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
CHARLIE:
You can start by telling me where this happened.
FREDDIE:
I was...
FREDDIE fans himself and begins to wheeze.
CHARLIE:
Focus Freddie, focus! Where did it happen?
FREDDIE:
The icy underwater school! That's right - icy underwater school!
CHARLIE springs up and begins to swim followed by FREDDIE.
FADE TO:
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
CHARLIE rushes along the waves, followed by FREDDIE. They take a short cut through some back water gardens, jumping seaweed fences along the way.
FADE TO:
EXT. ICY UNDERWATER SCHOOL - SHORTLY AFTER
DEHYDRA THE HOTHEADED DRAGONDROID is blowing flames over the water, while enflamed hammer head humanoid sharks terrorizes two merpeople underwater.
CHARLIE, closely followed by FREDDIE, leaps out of the water towards DEHYDRA to slap her with his fin, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
FREDDIE:
What is is? What's the matter?
CHARLIE:
That's not just any old dragon, that's Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid!
FREDDIE:
So!
CHARLIE:
That hotheaded dragondroid will dehydrate me, dry me out with her hot breath.
FREDDIE:
Jimmidy flippers, Charlie! We gotta go get some backup if we're going to defeat the most enflamed dragonoid in the galaxy!
CHARLIE:
You can say that again.
FREDDIE:
Jimmi...
CHARLIE:
Don't repeat me, I was kidding. I'm going to have get the snowy heat wave blade.
Dehydra turns and sees Charlie and Freddie underwater. She grins an evil grin.
DEHYDRA:
Charlie Russell, we meet again.
FREDDIE:
Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?
CHARLIE:
I didn't want anybody to know until the time was right, besides it was a long, long time ago...
FREDDIE:
How could a worst time like this be the right time?
CHARLIE:
Sometimes the right time is when you're mature enough to find out for yourself at the wrong time so you'll be wise enough to know how to deal with it.
FADE TO:
EXT. A SWIMMING POOL - BACK IN TIME
A young CHARLIE is swimming in a pool playing marco-polo while listening to some reggae music, when suddenly a dark dragon shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees DEHYDRA. He emerges under the water.
DEHYDRA:
Don't be afraid, Charlie, I won't harm you. Would you like some sea gums?
CHARLIE resurfaces and looks up; as his eyes light up, but then he studies DEHYDRA more closely, and looks uneasy.
CHARLIE:
I don't know, you look kind of enflamed.
DEHYDRA:
Me? No. I'm not enflamed. I'm the least enflamed dragonoid in the world.
CHARLIE:
Wait, you're a dragonoid?
DEHYDRA:
That is correct.
CHARLIE:
What do you want from me?
DEHYDRA:
Oh, it's better to give then to get what's coming to you. Just take these sea gums and find out.
CHARLIE emerges under the water once again, but he can't hold his breath forever and resurfaces; he gasps for air and Dehydra tosses three seagums in his mouth before emerging back under the water.
Underwater, CHARLIE begins to transfigure into a Merman and Dehydra cast a spell over the waters to turn humans into merpeople and the entire land into an icy watery planet called Tatooine.
FADE TO:
EXT. ICY UNDERWATER SCHOOL - PRESENT DAY
DEHYDRA:
You were a little worm then, and you are a little worm now.
FREDDIE:
(To CHARLIE) You had been given superpowers the volunteer experimental program, and you backed out of facing her?
CHARLIE:
(To FREDDIE) I was a young kid. I didn't know what I knew now. What was I supposed to do?
CHARLIE turns to DEHYDRA.
CHARLIE:
I may have backed out of it then, but I won't back down this time!
CHARLIE emerges deep underwater, gaining speed.
He turns back and rebounds our if the water to shout in mid-air to her face.
CHARLIE:
I mean, I am turning tail, but I'll be back - with a snowy heat wave blade.
DEHYDRA:
Oh, I quiver with fear.
CHARLIE:
You should be.
As CHARLIE drives back into to water, his fin slaps Dehydra in the face.
FADE TO:
EXT. SHANGHAIPOOL ON PLANET EARTH - LATER THAT DAY
CHARLIE and FREDDIE swim around in a watery icy cavern searching for something.
CHARLIE:
I feel sure I left my snowy heat wave blade somewhere around here.
FREDDIE:
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly snowy heat wave blade.
CHARLIE:
You know nothing Freddie.
FREDDIE:
It seems like we've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, DEHYDRA appears in both of the boys' mind's eye, holding a pair of snowy heat wave blade.
DEHYDRA:
Looking for something?
FREDDIE:
Crikedy Charlie, she's got your snowy heat wave blade.
CHARLIE:
Tell me something I don't already know!
FREDDIE:
You underestimate my smartness. The other day, dad gave me a one-dollar bill
‘Cause I’m his smartest son,
and I swapped it for two shiny quarters
‘Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters, and traded them to Lou
for three dimes– I guess he don’t know
that three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates, and just ‘cause he can’t see. He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
and four is more than three!
And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
down at the seed feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them, and five is more than four!
And then I went and showed my dad,
and he got red in the cheeks, and closed his eyes and shook his head –
I guess he was too proud of me to speak!
CHARLIE looks at FREDDIE and shakes his head.
CHARLIE:
(To FREDDIE)
There's a big difference in being smart and make good grades. You're smart, but what you lack is understanding of money!
FREDDIE:
Oh, well, I'm afraid of dehydration by heat and fire.
DEHYDRA
(Easedropping and sarcasticly) Shall I pull you out the water?
While DEHYDRA is looking at FREDDIE scornfully through their mind's eye, CHARLIE lunges forward while the door is open to the portal of her world and grabs his snowy heat wave blade. He wields them, triumphantly.
CHARLIE:
Prepare to freeze and spontaneous combust into flames, you-you enflamed red and green string bean looking algae!
DEHYDRA:
No please! All I did was terrorize a bunch of merpeople!
FREDDIE:
And, let's not forget made merpeople out of the human race and turned earth into an icy underwater wetland.
DEHYDRA:
Ah, yes, that too.
AGENT MERMAID IMP enters, unseen by any of the others.
CHARLIE:
I cannot tolerate that kind of behavior! Those merpeople were defenseless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Charlie Russell defender of the innocent merpeople.
DEHYDRA:
You a defender. (She scornfully laughs) Don't hurt me! Please!
CHARLIE:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use this snowy heat wave blade on you right away!
DEHYDRA:
Because Charlie, I am your mother, who has been turned into a dragon.
CHARLIE looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
CHARLIE:
No you're not! My mother is taking pix of me right now and posting them on my Instagram page.
CHARLIE turns to glance at the camera with a big smirk on his face, then faces Dehydra again in the portal of his mind's eye.
DEHYDRA:
Ah heck, it was worth the shot.
DEHYDRA tries to grab the snowy heat wave blade through the portal of his mind's eye, but CHARLIE sumersults out of the way and she faints before he slices off her head from her bindside.
CHARLIE:
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, DEHYDRA slumps to the ground.
FREDDIE:
Did she just faint? And where did her head go?
CHARLIE
Yes, and I don't know. It just disappeared, and that was disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, like a body freezing than engulfs into flames followed by a spontaneous combustion, involving my deadly snowy heat wave blade.
FREDDIE:
There's something you didn't know, that stuff only happens in the movies and not in real life.
CHARLIE crouches over DEHYDRA's body.
FREDDIE:
Be careful, Charlie. She could be playing a mind game with you.
CHARLIE:
No, it's no mind game. It appears that... It would seem... Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid is dead!
FREDDIE:
What?
CHARLIE:
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death just before I cut off her head.
FREDDIE claps his hands.
FREDDIE:
So your snowy heat wave blade did save the day, after all.
AGENT MERMAID IMP steps forward.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Did it really happen? Did you slay the dragonoid and send her enflamed hammer head humanoid sharks back where they came from?
CHARLIE:
Agent Mermaid imp, how long have you been...?
AGENT MERMAID IMP tries to put CHARLIE in a headlock and tries to roughhouse with him.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Long enough. Wanna squabble now?
CHARLIE shakes her off and shimmies away.
CHARLIE:
Then, you saw it for yourself. I slayed Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid.
FREDDIE:
And I witnessed it.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Then, the merpeople are safe?
CHARLIE:
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable merpeople enter, looking relived. Suddenly, there's a shift in the atmosphere, and all the merpeople change back into humans as the icy underwater land transfigures also back into normal earth.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Hot diggity frog! When you slayed her you reversed the spell over all of us. You are out hero.
The once merpeople but now humans bow to CHARLIE.
CHARLIE:
Please don't bow to me. I seek no worship, and I'm no God. The knowledge that Dehydra the hotheaded dragondroid will never terrorize and keep us bound under her spell as merpeople ever again, is enough for me.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the merpeople passes CHARLIE a mystical frosty sea bident.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
CHARLIE:
I couldn't possibly, besides what's the use for it, we're humans now.
Pause.
CHARLIE:
All-alright, if you insist. I'm sure I could use it to pick up hay and to do the mystical with it.
CHARLIE takes the frosty sea bident.
CHARLIE:
Thank you.
The merpeople turned humans bow their heads once more, and return to their normal lives on earth.
CHARLIE turns to AGENT MERMAID IMP.
CHARLIE:
And where were you to protect me?
FREDDIE:
Yah, wasn't you supposed to be his protector!
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Oh, children children, of course I always had your backs.
CHARLIE smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
CHARLIE:
Oh, really. Well, you were the one who turntail.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
WHAT?
CHARLIE:
You won't brave when you were supposed to be, and you had no faith in me. You had to see me scare a flamboyant dragonoid to death to make hammer head humanoid sharks go vamos before you would believe in me. Then, here you come running back to me, thinking you're gonna get some kinda reward. No, I don't think so and I don't want a lovable protector like that.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
But...
CHARLIE:
Please go. You're mummy's calling ya. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend and brother, Freddie.
FREDDIE blushingly grins.
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
But...
FREDDIE:
You heard the kid king. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
AGENT MERMAID IMP:
Charlie?
CHARLIE:
I'm sorry Agent Mermaid imp, but I think you should skidaddle. Your service with me has been terminated.
AGENT MERMAID IMP leaves as he notices that he is like a fish out of water, because he hasn't changed into a human; so he flips all the way to the nearest sea.
FREDDIE turns to CHARLIE.
FREDDIE:
Did you really mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
CHARLIE:
Of course you are! Blood is thicker than water.
FREDDIE:
And sticks closer in adversity.
The two shimmie off arm in arm and toy in hand.
Suddenly, FREDDIE stops.
FREDDIE:
Wait, how did these toys get into out hands?
CHARLIE:
Beats me? But, they are kinda cool. Let's go do a toy review.
Suddenly, FREDDIE stops again.
FREDDIE:
When I said I'm afraid of dehydration by heat and fire, you know I was just trying to distract dragonoid don't you?
THE END
© Joel Peter Brown