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natural causes
What is life without pain?
What is remorse without guilt?
We gather around and wish we could be someone we can’t handle,
Someone we’re not
We pray to be something we’re not made of and,
We hate ourselves
We find every flaw and miscue in our bodies but find perfection and idolization in things,
People,
That aren’t real themselves
As I ponder my mind with thoughts of who I am,
I wonder,
Who I would become
Who would I see when I stare at my reflection in the mirror?
A ghost?
A shadow?
Maybe a nobody
I sit alone in the fetal position,
Sometimes rocking,
Driving myself crazy because I’m not who I want to be
I’m not the man or person everyone else had imagined I’d be
What is life outside of insecurities?
What is death without a pathetic meaning of life
Who are we without each other?
There endless
The thoughts,
People,
Hell
It’s an endless need to be socially accepted and to be loved by people who would kill us for five dollars and a happy meal
Yet,
We idolize validation from others when we could simply cook our own food
Make our own drinks
Compliment ourselves
What use is a well that’s run dry?
Why lead a horse to water with the uncertainty that it will drink?
I imagine life as I imagine death
Slow,
Painful,
Torture
I find it amazing that somehow I’m still here through the trauma of my life,
My world,
The mere thought of my existence is causing a downward spiral
Yet,
The road less traveled isn’t any more appealing than the road often taken
I do it
Take the road less traveled, I mean
Where’s the reward?
Has it gone overlooked because of my inability to see what’s in front of me?
Have I already been rewarded?
What’s a horse, if not an animal?
What’s an animal, if not a human?
What is life, if not death?
Is it not just one big loophole of false hope and meaningless glorification to make us believe we’re more than we actually are?
If I go off the grid, who would know that I’m gone and need to be found?
The natural causes of life, often become what causes death and we become to blind to see it
I hang from a tree,
Scared of what death brings me
Scared of what life has given me
I have failed
I have succeeded,
I have died of natural causes

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