Since I was born, we were raised with the idea that everything is possible. We can actually be what we want. There is always the freedom to choose the greater good. But the greater good became the greater evil. They told us, "If you work hard, you can be anything you want to be." There was always one catch: I did not want to be anything. Everything they wanted me to be, I did not want. Everything was without sense. Everything was without meaning, like a river that just flows and does not ask questions. The boredom I felt was really intense, like something that never goes away. Maybe I have never understood a single thing, my mind like a blurry fog, just coming and going away.

There was one thing that always made me happy: playing my small mental games. Maybe I understood this topic a bit. It was my own system, my own order of how things would actually go. I have been living in my own imaginary world. I have visited deserts, seas, and mountains. I saw it all inside my own mind. I was playing the role of a god inside this imaginary scenario. I could destroy the world in the blink of an eye. I have seen the edge of creation and the edge of pure destruction. One day I was in ancient Greece as a slave, and the next day I ruled the world. I had a kind of freedom that I was deprived of in reality. I was not alone in this. Many people were like me. We were kind of lost and wanted to make sense of things. We wanted to make the world whole. We created endless numbers of worlds to escape the miserable reality. Everyone was looking for some kind of place like this, our own heavens, our own hells. Our world became like this because of the generations that came before us. Who could we blame for this reality?

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