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The Memory of Pain
Pain wires us with warning signs. When it’s big pain, we may build big warning circuits that get labeled phobias or posttraumatic stress. Smaller pain builds smaller warning circuits that we’re less aware of. We end up with alarmed feelings that don’t always make sense. It would be nice if we could just delete a circuit that made bad predictions. But there’s a good survival reason why we can’t. Imagine your ancestor watching someone die from eating a poison berry. His cortisol would surge and he would remember that berry forever. Years later, on a day when he was very hungry, he would be able to resist eating that berry. Your ancestor survived because his cortisol circuits endured.
Your cortisol circuits endure and create life-or-death feelings that are hard to make sense of. You know you won’t actually die if you fail to get that hoped-for promotion, or if someone pulls your hair on the playground. You know you won’t die if there’s a long line at the post office and you end up getting a parking ticket. But your neurochemicals evolved to give you a sense of life-threatening urgency when you face a setback.
Modern life is often blamed for this feeling, though our ancestors lived with harsher survival challenges. If you had lived in the past, vermin would have infested your home, your food, and your drinking water. You would have felt sores irritating your skin most of the time. You would have watched siblings die. Your neighbors would invade, rape, and pillage. You would not have been free to choose your sex partner. Cortisol would have given you that “do something” feeling often, and you wouldn’t always have had a way to make it stop.
Cortisol creates the belief that life is worse today. When you worry about the SATs or looking fat, cortisol creates the physical sense of imminent annihilation. When you think about threats your ancestors faced, no cortisol doom is triggered because direct experience is what builds cortisol circuits, and you share little direct experience with your ancestors.
People who tell you life is awful these days are trying to validate your threatened feelings to win your support. You may find it hard to believe your threatened feelings could be caused by mere small annoyances. You keep scanning for evidence of bigger threats, and many people will offer you such evidence. If you watch the news or listen to political speeches, you will feel sure that the world is on the verge of collapse. The world does not collapse, but you don’t celebrate because they immediately capture your attention with a new sign of cataclysm. It leaves you feeling worse, but you’re afraid to stop watching because that leaves you alone with your threatened feelings.
Your cortisol circuits endure and create life-or-death feelings that are hard to make sense of. You know you won’t actually die if you fail to get that hoped-for promotion, or if someone pulls your hair on the playground. You know you won’t die if there’s a long line at the post office and you end up getting a parking ticket. But your neurochemicals evolved to give you a sense of life-threatening urgency when you face a setback.
Modern life is often blamed for this feeling, though our ancestors lived with harsher survival challenges. If you had lived in the past, vermin would have infested your home, your food, and your drinking water. You would have felt sores irritating your skin most of the time. You would have watched siblings die. Your neighbors would invade, rape, and pillage. You would not have been free to choose your sex partner. Cortisol would have given you that “do something” feeling often, and you wouldn’t always have had a way to make it stop.
Cortisol creates the belief that life is worse today. When you worry about the SATs or looking fat, cortisol creates the physical sense of imminent annihilation. When you think about threats your ancestors faced, no cortisol doom is triggered because direct experience is what builds cortisol circuits, and you share little direct experience with your ancestors.
People who tell you life is awful these days are trying to validate your threatened feelings to win your support. You may find it hard to believe your threatened feelings could be caused by mere small annoyances. You keep scanning for evidence of bigger threats, and many people will offer you such evidence. If you watch the news or listen to political speeches, you will feel sure that the world is on the verge of collapse. The world does not collapse, but you don’t celebrate because they immediately capture your attention with a new sign of cataclysm. It leaves you feeling worse, but you’re afraid to stop watching because that leaves you alone with your threatened feelings.
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