Only if I knew I am never gonna see you again,
I would have taken you out for one last date.

I know I might be stupid but I lived that one last date in my mind god knows how many times.

when you would get ready the one last time for me
when I would pick you at 6pm from your house
and see you standing there waiting for me in the same white dress I gifted you on your birthday,
looking beautiful more than anything I could even imagine at that moment,

I came close to you looked into your eyes and just wished time to stop then and there forever
and just then you would pinch my cheeks to bring me back to reality and then would hold your hand and walk you to the car.

wraping a blind fold on you, take you out of the car and you just keep asking questions in your own silly way!

Then I would take you to the fav spot of yours
and remove your blind fold,
you would see a beautiful view of sun sinking into the ocean, shattering the orange light into the sky and ocean.

birds making noice while going back to their nests,sound of water waves is pouring into the ears, breeze of the cold wind brings the smell of soil,

I could see the brightness into your eyes and I knew that to make you happy I dont need to spend money or get dinner at fancy restaurant,
all I need is this beautiful moment,

after letting you enjoy the view for a few minutes we would start walking towards the ocean and walking parallel to the waves,
each wave touches your feet
that cold water makes your smile each time,

and I can't stop looking at you!

Even after so many years of togetherness I still can't stop myself staring at you like a child looking at his favourite food.

we keep walking locking our lil fingers, without saying a word and yet still having a deep connection with each other.

your eyes stick to those kids playing at some distance with bubbles and I can see that excitement in your eyes like your inner child wants to come out and live again for a while and then you run to those kids to play with them.

standing there I can hear the most mesmerizing sound in my ears of your laughter while playing, just like sweet and cute princess unaware of the any problem of life who just wants to live a joyfull life.

after a while we will sit there looking at the sun almost sunk into the ocean and the moon rising in the sky, orange sky is now turning into black, and water started to reflect the moon light make it glittery.

your head is on my shoulder and arms locked with mine, the wind is messing with you hair, like they are trying to protect you face.

after spending some time I'll walk you back to your house, while my one hand is holding your hand and another one having your sandels
and you enjoying your favourite chocolate icecream, talking about the things you have to do and this and that till we reach your place.

standing infront of your house we both knew its time to say final goodbye.

i would come close to you looking into your eyes..holding you from your waist, just wanna get lost into the depth of your eyes, I lean towards you to kiss you for one last time, I kiss you on your forehead and pulled you closer to give you a Hug for one last time, I can feel that you have alot to say, tears in your eyes are about to burst out.

but the moment had arrived its time to say goodbye... I know I will never be able to love anyone like this again, I wish I could do something, we always stood there for each other, we fought with each other and also fought for each other, but we lost the battle with the demon inside you, it's hard to stay alone in this world without you, I wish I could come along with you...



i wish i could have this one last date with you before you leave me alone behind you, to never come back.

You left me without even saying a last goodbye, and gave me the pain for lifetime of not been able to see your for one last time,
It kills me everytime when i think of last moment of you and i was not therefor you, my promise to be with you till the last breate is broken,
Yoy left this world leaving behind all your worries, stress and pain, also you left me behind crying alone into my nest which you built for us,
All i wonder how is how am i gonna live in this house you got for me, every wall have your memory, your smell in my hoodies, that painting of us, those gifts.
This place haunts me every night with your memories.
i curse myself for not being there with you in those fucking last moments.


I am Sorry, I miss you, and i will keep my promises that i gave you....
I wish i had that last date with you, only if i knew i would never see you again.

I love you and i miss your every sec, every day.
I wish i could only see you once again...

#love #story #life #death # memories #promises #date #ocean #beautiful

© A.S