Each time I look at this picture, it reminds me of two ladies that lived in the same hood, “the little timid sad girl and the lady that breaks boundaries now.”

I used to think I was cheated by Nature and my Maker. I was so blind and weak to admit I was wrong at my own obsession. I kept blaming. I kept hating. And the worst part of this feelings came from my friends. They would look at me and made a joke and their laughter had a way of making me hate myself more.

Yes, I was too blind to understand that I created the room for this “mockery,” i gave time to this “frivolity,” and shut myself out from the “truth.” No matter how I try to look at them, I only see the lies staring back at me. I wanted to hide from the mockery, the "bad teeth" joke, the "ugly face" laugh, the “iron-pressed" buttock, the height problem, the comparison, the hate and many of them.

I was that girl, who believed in moving the world and making things to happen; but also that lady, who hides away and wish to do them all in my hidden spot. I can say, I was not capable enough to face my pains. I shielded them, I accommodated them and carried them around.

I couldn’t walk out without someone reminding me of how small I was. It became so bad that I would only stand in front of the mirror, cursed my existence and blamed God for that. I would ask my parents, “why I was different from my siblings?"

Their answers never quenched my anger and I would explode and still collect beating too. Lol! It wasn’t easy though you know? Feeling left out from something you just want to belong.

I could remember the day I went to “Mr. Biggs” cause my school always take the best pupils in class for a little excursion to ginger others to perform well.

When we were entering the place ,we saw a standing lifeless Mickey and one boy from my clique pointed at it and called out my name. He was trying to describe my teeth. I got furious and hit him which landed me into collecting three strokes and hurtful words from the teacher I was reported to.

I became popular with my disgusting nicknames, the "A-z oil” and the “ rabbit teeth”. I gained the A-Z oil from the little gallon I come to school with.
I couldn’t share cause I don’t know the next joke, the next bomb that will explode.

Or should I say about the boy in my class then. He will always joke with my teeth and the whole class will laugh. I will pretend to be fine but I was not, I will only hide to cry.

Or the day, two girls were fighting on the matching ground because of something I can’t describe. They ended up pushing me down and that was where I broke my rabbit teeth.
Some felt sorry for me while some just told me,” it is better to break those than to have them big.” I could remember that day, the blood gushing out from the wound and the painful treatment I received.
I could have fought back but how? It was a mistake. A mistake that I paid with my life. It could have been my head or something but it ended with my teeth.

What of the day of my matriculation? I was on that stage taking pictures like every 'fresher' and one group of mad boys were yelling at me to shove my teeth inside to make the picture fine. Lol! People are really crazy.

It continued like that till my year two, at the back of my Lodge, I decided to snap showing my teeth.

It came out well and I saw myself smiling. I looked beautiful with my set of front "bazookas” that what I called them now. Though, it looked fine but I didn’t have the courage to post them online. Yeah! I used to see others do so but I wouldn’t dare.
It became a piece to watch always and also admire.

One fateful evening, I posted them and someone said something nice to me , for the first time I believed it. It wasn’t the first time someone complimented on my teeth, but I always see them as jokes.

Anyways, I am always grateful to this lady in the picture for taking that courage to do so. For ever believing in herself and not that timid ungrateful girl, that believed in all those lies. Who blamed God, her parents and the world for her unsatisfied life.

I am so thankful to this lady, for proving to herself and not to anybody that she is so contented with herself and not that little brat, that wanted the world to feel sorry for her.

I am so grateful to this lady now, cause she is moving fast and she will not stop till she achieved what she came to do on this Earth and not to that disgusting fool, that made herself what she felt in the past, slowing the movement and creating room for those "so" and not believing in her life.

Now, when those jokes fly in, though they hurt sometimes but I will just laugh at them and tell myself that, “it is what it is” lol!
Yes nah, no be wetin it suppose be. I have them and I won’t change them either. Though, I used to craved for plastic surgery whenever I have enough bucks but I don’t need them anymore.

My words of advice to those people with "body shaming" attitudes:
It is normal to feel bad sometimes but letting them get to you, will not only hurt you but destroy the beautiful you in you. They will only leave you with questions, questions you will not be able to answer unless you decided to find them or change them.

Sometimes, when we feel so small and insecure on things that don’t matter: it is not about those things but what actually trigger them.

If you look close, you will see that we are the triggers cause we actually created them by allowing them to get to us. We make them happen.

I don’t know your own story on “body shaming” but no matter what you face now, you are the CEO of them cause you allowed them into your life.

Just ask yourself these questions:
Am I the one that created myself? Why are they getting to me that much? Do God created me to be hating myself ? Why am I so different? Or is there something great that I am here to do? Why do I exist? What is my purpose on Earth?

Figure them out and you will see that, those nonsense never worth your time.

It won’t be easy but it is so simple and easy to do too. You can’t do anything till you accept who you are, what you are and why you exist? Look at yourself and find your why?
Love yourself more than anything and you will see things falling into their places.

And to those fun makers: know that not all jokes worth saying. You might think you are just cracking jokes but not knowing you are hurting the person in the process.

Mind how you talk, cause words hurt so badly and they leave scars.
Have a nice day.


#selflove #beauty #start believinginourself #love#saynotobodyshaming #itismystory #ihavetgepowertocontrol#beautysetofteeth #mysmile #smilealways


© eve