Is this my reality?
Standing on the branch of a tree,
Surrounded by tall,
Uncut grass
Trying to build up the courage to take this leap of faith,
Hoping my necklace will save me from sudden death
Instead it breaks my neck and I’m left hanging as the edge of the grass tickles my feet
Is this my reality?
Vague dreams and vivid nightmares as I hold the gun to my temple and listen to it pray for me
Whispering in my ear that I’ll be ok and that my tears are meaningless
Haunting my mere existence as I try to find any justification for living
For dying
For God to send me to hell
Maybe I’d rather be there than to be punished for being “strong”
Is this my reality?
I stand in the mirror of life,
Staring at the inevitable death that I caused myself
I cannot shake this feeling
This…
This eerie urge to have my soul sucked out of me and be,
Shallow
Ghostlike
I can’t help but to think that the world would be better off without me
I’m washed up
I’m used more than a mop that the janitor has been using all week
I’m not worth the tissue that people use to wipe their ass with but still I sit here and I try
I try to be something I’m not
I try to mask my autism
I try to live my life through other people, just to be dumped in a ditch when they’re done with me,
Is this my reality?
To be such a giving person in a world full of selfish people
Is it meant for me to live when I’ve wanted to die since I was eight years old?
What is life?
Who is life?
Where…is life?
I go back to the bottom of the sewers
Not even the rats care for me
I don’t belong anywhere
I have no purpose
I have no life
I have…
Reality

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