'did I hear you say you are pregnant?

janet's voice snaked it way into our conversation but it did nothing to ease the heat from her brother’s burning gaze, so keeping my eyes on the stranger in front of me still, I nodded, just then I felt him crush me to his chest I tried to free myself from his hard gripin vain and in my near pass-out state I watch his face transformed into joy, real as that of a man who just found out about the demise of his only enemy, I turn to his twin, who up till then made no sound, to see her own reaction to my sweet-sour news, to my surprise, she had tears In her eyes.

I looked at wale as he made efforts to cover his confusion.
i swallowed and continued my story without giving him enough time to get over his confusion, after all he wanted the information so he must deal with whatever comes with it.

‘what amused me more was that she had a wide smile on her face too, she robbed her wetness on me as she drew me into her embrace, however i broke their joy when i announced my intentions of not keeping the baby, they seem taken back about my newest announcement but none of them said a thing, rather holding my hand like a lost child, Janet led me to the closest chair, sat me down and questioned me until she knew the baby was a little above 5weeks, and other informations she thought was necessary, later that day and every other day of my pregnant days I was pampered, care for and properly received when my daddy finally found out and sent me out on the street ignoring my sick mother’s plea'

Wale swallowed and kept looking at me... i didn't know how to interpret what i saw in his eyes.

' so you see why i am not living here, i am dead to my own family, dead to anyone who may think i once mattered, what is the best way to die than within this white walls’ I chuckled

‘James will not find you, I promise, he can’t hurt you anymore’ wale said politely. ‘think about it’.

He said and walked to the door, I saw how questions and more questions played in the atmosphere of the room, even after he had left, I still sat there and watched the seat he just vacated.
‘come with me with me love’
I closed my eyes to those words even though they were in James's voice,
‘I thought I told you I am to going any place with you’
I yelled at no one in particular, in an empty room.
I got up angrily and returned to my bed, laid on it with my back to wale even when i knew he wasn't there anymore.

Suddenly I found was floating, yelping my fear, only to land in wale’s waiting hands, I don’t even hear him come to me not to mention holding or...lifting me.... it was unprofessional for him to do that....but the relationship between us was never professional from the beginning, his actions made me remember how much I missed the touch of a man, i only came to that realization when my doctor got me to stand on my feet and still left his hand on my back and although his touch was light it felt very intimate.... i told myself he was just doing everything to get me to follow him pitch his silly idea of leaving this hell hole to me.....maybe if he had tried a year or two before i would have agreed but right now, i have come to terms with part of my reality a long while ago. so he's rather too late.
But he still held on to me maybe as a means to support me until it was safe for me to be by myself and while that thought lived in my mind rent free, it drove me insane to admit that i may have feelings for my doctor, going with him was only aid reveal my open secret, in frustration i moved away from his touch and bereftly walked back to the bed after mouthing a weak

‘thanks but I want to be alone now please' i did want to see the look on his face.

I looked at the camera, hoping to God that it went dead or frooze for all the events of my falling and wale open display of support and unprofessionalism or I hope they miss the part that my heart skipped a beat and that look on his face when I was in his arms. I waited him out, hoping he will leave, before my control snapped and i do the unthinkable because Heaven bears me witness i love his smell so much i want to bury my nose in brook of his neck, i want to taste his lips to know if they are as soft as his voice when he speak to me and for the first time i was greatful that the camera could not record the words we exchanged and the satisfaction to this knowledge gave me an unexplainable peace like never before, were situations were different, i would had loved to kiss wale, maybe just once, the thought of him been my married doctor and unattainable, rocked my boat of thoughts and killed the captain in cold blood, sinking the boat.

to be continued.......
© RUBEE