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Rockstar forever
#TheWritingProject

“I don’t want to go”, Seina cried out desperately. She had made plans with her friends. They were to participate in the music concert at Goa. She wanted to be a Rockstar. No one knew about it yet. She had received training since childhood and had practised for long hours. Her parents were always supportive of her music but only as a hobby. They always directed her towards a career as a doctor. So cliché, she used to think. As if there is no career beyond Medicine or MBA. But music was her passion and she felt incomplete without it. She felt torn without her favourite guitar and felt a deep calmness when playing a piano.

Her parents wanted to spend the week at Dadi Bua’s (Grandfather’s Sister) bungalow at Ooty. She was turning 85 years old and the family was invited for the birthday celebrations. “Hey princess.. you will enjoy a lot. C’mon girl, spend some time with your old man na…”, said Dad. “But dad, I wanna go to Goa with friends. It is a very important concert. I didn’t want to tell you earlier but we have been invited to participate there. Please mama, help me convince Dad ”, she pleaded, crying desperately.

“You never know what awaits you in Ooty darling”, he said. If only she had known it will turn out to be a prophesy alright…!!

They reached Ooty on a wet Friday evening. The train ride was very slow but it was enticing. They reached the Lovedale station. It was a picture book perfect and a cute station. Nani Bua had sent a car with a driver to take them home. It was drizzling and the temperatures had dropped causing her to shiver a bit. The mist gave the hills a mystic aura as the car meandered through the hilly roads. There was a complete U shaped uphill turn, it was very very steep and she was mesmerized,
a little scared too when suddenly she heard someone call her name. But theirs was the only car on the road, they hadn’t stopped and Mom-Dad and Shruti, her sister, were all resting as well. She looked out, but no one was there on the road… anyhow, who would recognise her here.? She thought it was a dream, may be she had snoozed off..!!

Finally, after an hour of journey, the house or “The Wood on the Hill,” as it was called, came into view. A typical wooden heritage bungalow, it was romantic and mystic. The garden was well maintained with the fragrance of flowers, the wrought iron garden chairs and the quintessential very inviting porch swing. Dadi Bua met them with love and warmth. She was a beautiful and smart lady, best example of an octogenarian. She gave a very shocked look when she saw Seina, but soon she was back to her composed self. She told her parents that Seina was very pretty and reminded her of someone from the past. Seina felt that weird feeling yet again. They were soon taken up to their rooms and after freshening up, they came down to the dining hall and sat down to eat dinner which was a very formal affair.

Her sister and Seina were given a room on the second floor. It was at the backside of the house. They could see the courtyard and fruit trees in the garden below. Overlooking the courtyard was beautiful valley with rolling hills in front and the small local village in the distance. The workers and servants came from that village. Since it was night already, they could just see the lights of the village, which sparkled like stars of the night. She saw through the window, a dark silhouette of another house on the hilltop opposite. She enquired about it, but the maid didn’t look towards the house and seemed disturbed at the mention of the shadowed structure. She said they were an old neighbour family and that they had shifted to America, with only a housekeeper taking care of the property. It seemed she saw a light flicker in one of the upper story rooms. But it was too dark to be sure and Seina hesitated after the maid’s strange reaction.

Next morning the rain had stopped and the valley bathed in the warm sunlight. It was all as green and lush as they could come. They had a light breakfast of dosas and chutney and local veggies. They set out on a trip to their Kul-Devi ( family Goddess) temple. After the prayers they chose a green patch and everyone sat down. They started chatting and reminiscing about old times and enjoyed the tasty picnic lunch the cook had packed for them. There were sandwiches, cookies, freshly baked tooty-fruity cakes, fruits , jams and juices. Seina and Shruti stood up to explore the area nearby. They soon came upon an old cabin. Seina felt the pull of the cabin-like Hut. She felt like she had seen it, as if she longed to go inside and so she ventured towards it. It was a dilapidated and neglected cabin. The garden was ruined and roof was falling. The swing in the porch was broken, but she felt as if she had seen it earlier somewhere, maybe in some movie ? She raked her memory but couldn’t remember. She had a vision of the hero and heroine sitting on the porch, looking sadly towards the setting sun. She felt their sadness deep in her heart. Now this feeling she felt was very foreign and strange. She felt a hand on her shoulder, "Hello, earth to Seina" it was her sister Shruti. Seina quickly came out of the reverie and composed herself. She turned around with a jerk and walked towards her family without looking back.

That night she had a dream- a very weird dream. She saw herself in the neighbouring house, she was sitting in the garden and was enveloped by a feeling of deep melancholy. And then she went inside the house. She explored the rooms, the corridors. She soon found herself in the library and checked various shelves and neatly stacked books. She came across a wall with a portrait of a lady, ohhh but it was a splitting image of herself..!! She was looking at herself, but wait, why was she in a saree and the surroundings were of Ooty where she had never been before today..??

The dream shifted and she heard a man shouting, it seemed this person was arguing with her. He seemed to be her father but not the Dad she had known all her life. He was wearing vintage formal clothes and was scolding her for something… she stomped her feet and went upstairs to her room and cried and cried. Next scene, she was happily singing and dancing in the hall and a young man was teaching her the music and the dance. She felt love for this man like she had never experienced before this moment. They talked and she had the feeling of eternal bliss with him. Next, she saw herself in front of a forest wooden Hut with the same man. There was a small lawn with flowers in front. The porch had a small swing. She saw herself discussing serious things with him. It was the same Hut she has seen during the day. The dog was barking aloud. Suddenly she woke up and realised it was the friendly Labrador at Dadi Bua’s house. It was 3 am early in the morning. She was in her room and Shruti was sleeping in the other cot. She drank water and went back to sleep.

In the morning she remembered each and every detail of the dream as if all of it had happened in reality and not just a dream. She was very restless. She woke Shruti and they both decided to go for an early morning jog. She ran fast and left Shruti behind. Soon, she found herself in front of the neighbouring bungalow.

It was an imposing bungalow with a huge wrought-iron gate and lawns and fruit trees. As she touched the wrought iron gate, she felt a spark. She opened the gate and started walking towards the main house as if she knew the way like the back of her hand. She was enthralled as if in a haze, just then her sister called her "Seina where are you”. She had forgotten she had come jogging with her sister. Shruti always used to win at running and Seina had never once won against Shruti. But these hills and the terrain seemed so familiar that Seina won against Shruti this morning. And yet she never felt tired or breathless. As if she had always been here and done so.

She somehow felt angry at her sister since she had this yearning to go into the house. She wanted to lash out at her sister for interrupting her. This anger and frustration were a new feeling for her, as she considered herself generally a calm person. She turned around towards her sister, told her she wanted to check out this house, so she had run faster. They soon returned back home. The evening was spent with Dadi Buaji and her family. There was cake cutting , evening snacks and a sumptuous tasty dinner. Seina played the piano and also sang many songs. Dadi Bua enjoyed the new era music she played and sang along. When Seina announced her desire to become a Rockstar, Dadi Bua again had “that look”… As she was playing the piano, she started playing an old melancholic ballad which she had never heard, she had tears in her eyes, and started crying in the end. Her parents were shocked at their Rockster daughter who was played metal and hard rock usually. Dadi Bua came forward and supported her, she came out of a trance and suddenly became aware of her surroundings. She asked them all “what happened here..?” Everyone was equally shocked. Dadi Bua convinced her that it was the atmosphere and the misty aura of the area that brought about her sad mood. She exchanged looks with the old maid but Seina soon forgot about it all and danced and sang her evening away.

At night, she had another nightmare. She was running desperately with this young man from the village, she was scared, panicked and sad. They both were being followed by village men and bullets were being shot at them and one hit her in the arm… Another hit her man in back, he started bleeding at the chest and collapsed, she started screaming… her name was being called out and someone shook her hard… it was her sister Shruti…!!

Seina was having a dream and she woke up shocked. She was drenched in sweat and had been screaming in her sleep. Her parents had also come running into the room. Mom gave her some water to drink and helped her back to sleep. This trip was testing her patience and it’s limit. Why all these graphic dreams, why the sense of familiarity and the looks Dadi Bua gave her when they met. She wanted answers, sooner rather than later, as she felt getting engulfed into this feeling of sadness. She wanted to enjoy this trip to Ooty. Her trip to Goa already having been cancelled and ruined on her dad's request which was more like a hidden command. She wanted this mystery to uncover so she could enjoy the peace, quiet and the beauty of the valley.

Everyone wanted to go to the estate tea plantations and factory next morning, Seina stayed behind saying she was not feeling upto it. When they all left, she swiftly got ready and went to that house. She opened the gate and went inside and knocked on the main door, no one answered. She called out, “Hello..??” Since no one answered, she pushed the door and it opened. The house was well maintained. The furniture was covered in white sheets but there were paintings hanging on the walls in the corridors. She climbed up the majestic staircase and reached a corridor. She entered the second room on her left and realised it was a lady's room. The bed, the chest, the mirror were all covered with white sheets. She looked out of the window and could see the valley and the village beyond the garden of the house. She could see Dadi Bua's bungalow as well. To her astonishment she realised it was the same window she had seen that night where the light had flickered. She also somehow knew her way around the house and so she came back downstairs and then opened the side door as if by habit and she saw that she had entered the library.

She recognised the racks, the books, the shelves. It was exactly what she had seen in the dream. She was surprised but yet not afraid. She searched through the books. There, in the library, was the same portrait she had seen in her dream last night. It was she herself, sitting in the garden, beautiful flowers all around, wearing a vintage saree and looking down at the grass. She was so absorbed in the painting she didn’t realise she had company.

The old man stood there, shocked, staring at her and then started crying “ Baby didi you have come, it is you again”… She jumped at the sound of his voice and screamed out loud. He told her to relax and made her to sit on the sofa, but as soon as he went to the kitchen to fetch water for her, Seina ran out of the house and rushed home.

Dadi Bua was standing at the main door and held her, calmed her down and asked her to sit down in the main room. Tea and cake and cookies were served and then Dadi Bua gently put her hand on Seina’s head and kissed her forehead. She took her to the room and slowly caressed her cheek and helped her to sleep. When Seina next opened her eyes, it was late evening. Her parents had returned from the trip. They all sat down after dinner and Dadi Bua started to narrate a story most enchanting and very tragic.

“The neighbours had a son Veer Pratap and a daughter Sunita. This is a tale atleast 60-70 years old. The parents doted on their kids and gave their children full freedom. The daughter was never subdued and learnt music and dance of all the various styles including modern styles of those times. She was very accomplished at acting and they had her tutored in music, dance and acting by a local village boy who had returned after training at Bombay and London. One ominous day she announced she wanted to have a career in the film industry. That was not agreeable to them. They were a very old and well respected family. Allowing her to learn was one thing but actually allowing her to enter the then very misunderstood film industry was totally another level which everyone in the family protested to. They didn’t want to ruin the family name. Unknown to them, the girl and boy had also fallen in love. You have to remember during those times such caste differences were not tolerated.

There ensued regular arguments and fights between the father and the daughter. She was a very free spirit. So one day, finally, Sunita decided to elope with her man. Alas, her plans were thwarted by a very devoted servant of the house and while she was running they all followed her and her father somehow ended up shooting her man and Sunita both. The man died of the bullet and collapsed there only. Sunita died in her father’s arms… Her father shot himself as well and died. In a matter of minutes, three beautiful lives were lost. The brother was left with his mother and wife and they shifted to America and now a housekeeper takes care of the house. This was way back, even before my marriage but I have been to the house when Veer Pratap and his wife came to manage the business of the estate and a second time to bury their mother’s ashes. There still hangs a painting of Sunita in the library and that’s how I recognise Sunita and was shocked to see Seina as if it was Sunita herself re-born.”

Seina knew now… the eerie feeling of familiarity, as if someone is calling out to her. Why Dadi Bua was shocked when she saw her for the first time. Why she knew the house and the Hut so well and why she was attracted towards it, the feelings of sadness, melancholy and the reason of the dreams also was clear now. She had remembered it all now..!!

Seina told her parents and Dadi Bua about all her feelings and the whole experience. And how she had seen the portrait which was the splitting image of herself in a saree, as if it was a mirror just a 6-7 decades older. And how the housekeeper had recognised her but she had rushed back home. She was that lady reborn…!!

It was a very humbling yet emotional experience for her. They all went to that house next morning and her parents and sister saw that painting. They were also shocked. So on returning to the house, Dadi Bua told her parents- “You see, your daughter has a connection with arts. She is a very talented artist. These days such arts and talent are appreciated and you please encourage her to follow her dreams. She has returned in this life, let her fulfill her dream and she will be a successful artist. A real Rockstar. I have heard that the neighbour’s daughter Sunita was very talented. I was very shocked when I saw your daughter the very first time.”

Her parents, though in shock… agreed soon. And so here she was, with her friends in Goa, just going on stage for her very first performance as a Rockstar. She was very happy, no more sadness or melancholy. She felt an inner peace as if after a long time her dreams were coming true.

The end…




© cmcb