I was in my room blankly staring at the top right corner.

I was waiting.

Waiting as my heart pounded for him to come back.

To torture me.

I turned my head to see the only sunlight left for the day.

I began to feel a sense of comfort looking at the monsters in my window. They seemed to be my only friends.


They occupied me the thirteen to eighteen hours in a day I was hovered by gloom.

There was nowhere for my mind to escape.

Over and over, my thoughts ruminated.

My mind began racing moving in a repetitious loop while my thoughts had no notion to prevail their meaning.

Although everything in my head seemed to be spinning around in circles there was no evidence of a universal shield anywhere near me.

Eventually, I felt myself falling into nothingness, loneliness, emotional despair, mental anguish and worthlessness.

I kept looking at the monsters in the window. They seemed to be my only friends.

I turned my head for a moment to stare back into the right corner of my room, only to look back and see that the monsters were gone.

I thought that they liked me.

They seemed to be the only things that were protecting me through my nightmares of reality.

Why did they leave me?

They left me like anyone else who had cared for me and said they would never leave.

Unaccepted.

Neglected.

Thoughts and emotions that triggered my PTSD created self-doubt, self-blame and clustered my mind of mistakes, wrong decisions, and sorrow for the things that never were.

This caused a mesh of confusion and...