Oh, my dear, let me tell you a steamy tale of a time long ago, when the stage was set for a city that was smokin' hot, like a fine piece of eye candy that had the whole world talking. This place was called "The City of Tits and Tassels," or as the squares liked to call it, "Jerusalem."

Back in the day, when this city was just a young 'un, fresh and ripe, it didn't have much to offer but potential. It was like a baby, bare and uncovered, with not a stitch of fabric to hide its sweet, tender bits. But oh, how it grew! And when I say it grew, I mean it really blossomed, like a peach that's been left out in the sun a little too long.

The Almighty took one look at this bare-chested, hairless wonder and said, "Girl, I'm going to turn you into the hottest ticket in town." And He did just that, decking her out with the finest threads from the top designers in Babylon. He gave her the kind of lingerie that would make even a saint blush and a pair of shoes that could make a grown man weep. And let's not forget the bling – oh, the bling! The gold, the jewels, the whole shebang. She was strutting down...