Stepping into self love, made realisation, i never loved myself before. I was like, following dance rules, getting admiration, but never thought why am I doing this. Everyone said, "it's all prefect, there is nothing to complain".
But continuous dance and following rules, made me tired. When everyone else is doing same, why do i feel that something is missing ? Why can't I keep up with others ? Why can't I follow continuously? what's that missing thing? That void inside. Who am I ? Who are these people ? What do they want ? What I want ? Void stuffed with questions. Broke inside. Tears rolled down. Questions in pain flowed down.
Forgot the rules, missed the rhythm. People criticized, blamed.
Standing still, gentle breeze caressed the cheeks and drying the tear line. That's me who felt the wind, these are my cheeks, touched by wind. I am not just the one in dance, i am also there even if there's no dance. I am not a dancing doll, i am just me.
Lifting one hand forward and moving towards the sky, felt the friction of wind against the hand. Took a half swirl, sensed the whole body i carrying, and the flow of wind with it. Moving around other hand, i expensed in my whole existence and made another full swirl... it's me. Caught the rhytm again, again on rules, started the dance again. Feeling the flow of own hands, tapping of foots on ground, wind crossing against the body and the dress swirling in the wind. It's fun. It's life.
People laugh, you are still doing same, aren't you ? what's changed ? Only i know how light i feel. Enjoying the every moment even though still on rules. Now it's all about me. It's my dance. It's me dancing. And i choose to follow the rules, not forced. Found the life in rhythm. Only i know the change.
Learned to enjoy the dance of universe with me.
© @nn