I'm pacing and my mind is racing as I think about all the years I've wasted, if you have a life embrace it just try not to get complacent cause time flies by so quickly and you never can replace it, let's face it I spent thirty years of life drinking beer and smoking weed, and I lost everything I cared about all those things I thought I didn't need, my kids and my wife disappeared and now I'm all alone, at present day I've sobered up wishing to God they'd just come home, but that's a pipe dream from a pipe fiend yeah I was addicted to crystal meth, until I hit a red and blue brick wall and history is written in the rest, looking back on my life then I admit I was one big stupid fuck, and I guess I had to hit rock bottom before I could start my climb back up, and I may never reach the top but believe that's totally fine by me, cause I'm just trying to live my life without all that negativity, and to my family I apologize and I do so with a heavy heart, I'm so sorry I couldn't change until my whole world had fell apart.

If I can keep confessing about how every day is a life lesson, could've spent forty years in prison but I'm free and to me that's such a blessing, and I'm no longer messing with those peeps from the hood back in the day, I've been baptized in holy water and my sins were washed away, I know about the circumstance, that's given me a second chance, you probably wouldn't recognize without a second glance that I'm the one who could of died up in that ambulance, to any youngsters my words may reach please don't follow down my road, there's nothing cool about that life and the stress gets fucking old, not to mention beyond that of how I paid a steeper price, the friends I pushed away and family I sacrificed, I rolled the dice and fucking gambled and when I lost I couldn't handle, left loved ones caught up in a scandal that was the fault of only me, and through wet and teary eyes I say goodbye to those who died and once again apologize as that's not the way it was meant to be.

Please understand there is no way I can amend or even pretend to transcend an explanation for the wrongs I've admitted, for the crimes I've committed, it's been submitted my life is cracked like fine China glass and when it comes to forgiveness all I can do is fucking ask, but forgiveness from God and forgiveness from family are two separate things, it's easy to pray to God but hard to pick up when the telephone rings, it's hard to look a loved one in the eyes and confess to the reason their son had to die, I can't lie it's fucking hell and all of this torment I did by myself, for what, street recognition and a little bit of wealth, but that's the past and my past is traumatizing, I look to the future with hope that it's more harmonizing, more enterprising with everyone on Earth rationalizing every decision, looking towards a better vision, of a better world for us to live in, then maybe all of us can start a new peaceful utopian like beginning and quit all this hateful sinning.

© Xplicit Kontent