Chapter four:
I gain the courage enough to tell it to my best friend she says she know what it feels like? But how I didn't tell her that I do something really bad to my skin, how does she know what my pain feels like? Should I tell her what I do, well sha says that she will always be there for me.
I said it she still says that she knows how I fell but she doesn't do that, she doesn't understand how painful it can be at times. I'll believe her. Oh no I'm starting to get more panic attacks they hurt so much I start to breath faster I feel like my heart could explode any minute now. She didn't keep her promise she said how I fell and what I do to all our other friends no no that can't be happening, they asked why?how? Where? But they don't ask how I feel I promise that I won't do it again but that's not easy I want to stop too but sometimes I think it's better to feel something even if it's pain. What's happening the year passed so fast they didn't invite me to hang out, what if they don't care anymore no I'm just overthinking they will one day I know it. Finally we finished all the exams maybe now they'll invite me too it's summer so we could maybe go to the pool or at the beach but no something can't make me remove and expose my arms. It's bad now that I think about it they don't hurt anymore but even seeing them hurts me. I'll find a way to cover them, I'll find a way to hang out with them I'm exited. I will be finally having some time to get my head out of this whirl of emotions and thoughts.
© The unknown person