I would first like to apologize to all of you who have liked and/or commented on my stories or quotes (orboth), and to the people who have been gracious enough to take the time to tap the follow button as i have not properly thanked any of you. That said THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my twisted F'd up and damaged heart i truely appreciate all of you with a genuine sincerity that is hard to find in anyone in this day and age where technology has bridged the gap, unfortunately, that our rulers have deemed, for lack of better words, unacceptable or wrong due to the so called COVID-19 "pandemic. Which by now im sure some if not a lot of you have begun to see through. If this is the first thing in life that youve noticed to be a bit off or just generally an indication that things are not what they seem to be or rather what those in positions to do so tell us they are then you are beginning to wake up, and i congradulate you for being a truly mindful individual and thinking on your own terms. We were given free will by he or those or it who created us. I dont claim to know much of anything special like who or whom (plural) or what created us or the reality in which we find our conciousness from birth till we fade from this chapter of a larger narrative on to the next chapter. The next chapter for all i know, and this im not completely confident enough to make factual claim, may be different for everyone. Those of you who truely believe in the polytheistic old Gods may find yourselves dining in Valhala with Oden and Thor and Friegh, sorry for my mistake im almost certain i spelled the last wrong but felt wrong to leave her out as she is among the first two as far as Norse specifically Viking creation is concerned so my apologies for my mistake, or you my find yourself before Osirus, Anubis, and long dead Pharoahs at the balance beams being weighed and measured for your works and riches in life. All so the ancient scale can decide the next chapter in your adventure. I would also like o sincerely apologise that this my dearest readers isnt my usual attempt at weaving words in a way that makes you feel a twinge or to be fair a flood of fear or heart racing adventure, or gain some insight into life with my occasional quote. This writing is for all of you though as Ive been awake for a very long time and got the veil lifted metaphorically through questionable methods i wont recommend to anyone ever. Before i continue i would like to say now that im not one of those crazy conspiracy theorists or apocalypse survivalist going to tell you to prepair that you have no idea whats coming. Blah Blah fucking blah. However i have always prided myself on being a seeker of truth. Truth of the world i love and call home, the truth of our reality, and truth of our society as a whole. As well as the truth of myself and my own nature. Im still working that out as i am by my very nature a selfless giving person though far from perfect righteous or better than anyone. I view every human my equal not because of wealth social status power etc. and i try not to judge because despite our differences and unique and individual nature we are all without a doubt and absolutely alike, almost copies of each other in this respect. This is what it is. Our ability to do anything good or evil we all have the equal and unwavering possibility to become whatever we strive to be whether wrong or right. I dont believe because you make bad decisions or do bad things hurting all who love and care about you and destroying lives of strangers for personal gain. I say this because i know i am not a bad person and i have done things that would be considered criminal or socially unacceptable or just out and out wrong by anyones moral compass and thats my sin and imperfection. However i am not a bad person, i dont go out of my way to hurt other both aquaintance or not. My sin is selfishness and punishing myself physically and then mentally from guilt that im not truly there for my loved ones and they see me do these things and distance myself out of not shame but protecting them from me because i wasnt ready to fix whats broken and so i dont see anyone as bad because of their bad life choices. If a person is bad or evil its because of their choice to be. Here's the catch with making bad decisions or irresposible choices early on. The longer and more you continue down said path the harder it is to pull out of the negatives and back into a pieceful, prosperous exsistance and that criminal life or addicted mind state pulls you in so fast that before you even realise it five years have blurrily passed and your dealing drugs or stealing high dollar items just to survive. I can tell you all from experience that despite the saying "Once youre in so deep theres no getting out." that you absolutely can get back to a better way and you can live an honest life at peace with who and what you are and forgive yourself for who you were. You can love yourself again. Its a very hard, long, and sometimes lonely road. In fact im still climbing and made the decision to get out six or so years ago and im still working on it. I still slip up or havent fixed a few of the things i need to, and i realised a while back that its okay, as long as my goal remains the same and im still trying to reach that goal. To better myself for the sake of those who i caused to worry, and cry, and hurt over my self torture and purposeful agony. Some will have an easier time reaching their goal than others and for some it will fully seem as if its unrealistic and youre at a road block and you cant make head way and yes it will happen with all who try because another thing i am certain of is the evil entities, individuals, and forces that will make every step of your way to something better as hard and as hopeless and as impossible as they are able and some of them are very powerful in ways you wouldnt believe. However even though i dont know a lot of you personally i know without a doubt and for simple irrefutable FACT! That anyone and all of you who set out for a better life and better you are far more powerful and capable of seeing their plans dissolve with a simple word and if you have a flair for the dramatic a wave of the wrist because even when we are seemingly alone the evil spirits, Demons, and even the Enemy himself/herself/its self has not a fucking thing on the the true power and authority over all fowl and evil things that was gifted to each and every single one of us by the Architect, The Builder, and the Spirit of our reality. For me personally those are the Hebrew/Jewish God the Father, Christ/ God the Sun, and the Holy Spirit which Father left in his stead to wash us clean and to show us his love through the sense of his presence. Side note i am not Jewish nor of Hebrew decent as far as im aware. Im not at all a religious man and rarely if ever attend any kind of church service. My relationship with my God is my own because i have seen and believe in my heart of hearts that every facet of Government, Religion, and our percieved reality as a whole has been tainted and corrupted by the enemy and because i have been allowed the eyes to see and mind to definitively decern these things I choose to worship or rather talk to and keep my relationship with my creator an exclusive one for now. Also dont get me wrong i know that those of you that attend a spiritual service whether Islam, Hindu, Muslim, Christian and many more. Trust me i also know very few of you in the congregations and gatherings who are there for your Gods, though i believe them all to be one and the same even the old Gods. I know youre not corrupt and your intentions are good and you need the communion with spiritually like minded people and to show your God , "Here I am! I am here for you and your people and I am accountable!" I truly commend you all for being present and its God(s) will that you are there exactly where you are supposed to be due to your very important and higher purpose work set before you. Believe me my path i think would be easier for me if it was as clear for me as that but for now my work is meant for all of you but set before me to accomplish and honestly its being revealed as I go. In fact i had zero plan to write and say this much, its coming to me as intended sometimes i just have to listen and let go. In closing my dearest readers i will leave you with these two pieces of always truthful and acurate knowledge and have a feeling i may be occasionally emparting these little snippits of wizdom or apyphonies or whatever you want to call them over the coming months along with of coarse my usual Horror genre short stories. That said snippit number one pertains to afterlife. I personally have experienced my Gods Heaven twice when i was six within three days and was given a choice to stay or come back here and even after being shown my life feom beginning to end young to old and all the hardships and heartaches and struggle in between i still chose to come back and i remember now, just now in fact it starts with this moment and the moment you are reading this just now. Long passed when i wrote it. What a trip huh? Anyway Heaven is everything the prophets in the bible described and just as extremely incomprehensible and right beyond all that is right. The only way i can put words to it is that you dont experience it with the physical senses of this fleshy body but that it just IS! The prophets though they were accurate in their description but description cant hold a phosphorus torch to experiencing it. It just is and its better than great and right. Better than the way you feel when falling in love. Better than the best sex youve ever had, and better than all the drugs i and maybe some of you have tried and i wont lie drugs feel amazing theyre designed to. Designed to be, "So amazing in fact that they ruin your fucking life" (quote from Louis CK commedian). Also while in the worst part of my active drug addiction mainly to the chemical cocktail of mixing Methamphetimines, and Heroine. A little hybrid drug when cooked together with water, orange , juice etc. we South Central Alaskan junkies call a "Goofball". well on this particular day i had just gotten off work and needed a fix but had only enough money for a small amount of one or the other. Already feeling the effects of heroine withdrawal i got a very all amount of good quality heroine and no more than i had done the day prior, and i was used to doing five times that amount twice or three times daily but was between pay checks and well you can imagine if im irresponsible enough to do drugs daily my budgeting skills straight blew chunks and i over spent earlier that week. So i did the tenth of tiny sticky black tar cooked and injected it. I was sitting on my friends toilet in their bathroom because i was way too impatient and rude to wait, however im glad i had because had i been alone in my camper that was home for that year i may not be here now fulfilling my responsibility to everyone of you i reach. I know it wont be all and have no illusion that all or even many of you will regard me the same as before and if youre just joining some may stay and read as they would be compelled to do and others will dismiss me as a barely cohearant lunatic. That is okay i still respect and love you as a human being and wish you nothing but the best in life. Anyway right after getting the last drop direct link to the dopamine gland via blood stream i started to "dip or nod out" (drug enduced ultra relaxed state sometime resulting in breaf periods of sleep or complete loss of consciousness. At that point i hadno idea i had seriously fucked up. Anyway the smell hit me first like that of rot and sewage and i passed it off as a backdraft down the toilet vent pipe from outside causeing me to get a whiff of the septic tank. Then the stifling scorched air burning my lungs and making a breath nearly impossible, i was still in denial and keeping my eyes closed still "nodding" if you will, rationalizing it as a negative effect of the drug which by that point in life was way experienced with all maner of body and reality enhancing substances that i had no doubt that i just needed to chill and go with it. Ride it out and it would as all negative effects did and would pass. Fighting it or trying to right yourself while so sensory stimulated and or deprivated or simultainiously both almost always resulted in more intense and long lasting negative effects abd worst case scenario you die from anxiety induced anyorism, stroke, or massive corrinary. But i was chill and tried to take in steady breaths albeit shallow and excruciating when suddenly and slowly rising from somewhere in my ears was white noise. The sound grew until it was defening and such my sole focus i forgot how bad it hurt to breath in or even be in this dry flame like heat. Then it clicked. My brain trying to fathom the impossible to compute the unfathomable. Millions and Billions of people screaming in agony and pain as if it were the first time they were ever scared and unreletingly unimaginably tortured both in mind and flesh. I woke up in Hell. I will spare you the grousome details which are still fresh as if it were yesterday in my mind, but this is how i know for fact that for me and all those who believe the Bible is that Hell just as Heaven absolutely is a possible destination in my next chapter and it is everything that the most horrifying and nightmare inducing descriptions have depicted through recorded history except a thousand times a thousand time mor horrible. Absoolute torture unrelenting and persistant by supernatural forces working as a timer to have you burn to ashat even the atomic level over and over and every time you burn you quickly grow back at the atomic level from the bone marrow out. Im still undecided on which is more painful. As well as so many other tortires beyond the human brains ability to percieve and by beings that hate you absolutely with every fiber of their ancient and immortal being and they are connected to the source of knowledge so they have vome up with technology we are ions from achieving and they use that tech and knowledge to devise and build nothing but machines and devises that are a more horrific way of torturing us and theyre masters of their craft far better than any of us could hope to become a fraction of in our lifetime and they try besting one another each time a new one is built nd they build these things with the efficiency that toys are built by factories. Anyway i was save after lifetimes of torture that i wont describe here by both my friend and Jesus Christ himself and i knew him from when he showed me my whole life while i was in heaven 23 years prior. The last thing i will leave you with to aid in your awakening from the consumerest control system is this. Be vigilant and keep your eyes very sharp and i promise you that you will start to notice and once youve noticed enough and find the lies are undeniably real you will see that something is coming and what it may be. Thank you for reading my friends and please leave a comment as im curious as to your thoughts and will reply to you. I read them all as the notifications come in. Thank you all again and again your time is as appreciated by me as it is precious to you.
Good luck and happy life to all of you.
© S.A.R.J