i could often find her sitting in ashes and broken glass, hugging her feet. everything was burnt to the ground. i could feel her suffocating, panicking. i can still feel that heart warming coldness. i once sat down with her for a glass of wine. we talked and she showed me her world. everything was colour, purity and peace until she managed to touch the sun. then, the moon came in with such elegance, i could feel myself disconnected from everything. but the colors started to run around, like she was surrounded by a flock of crows. she didn't seem worried, like she was used to it. she laid down, lit a cigarette and continued to drink her sorrows. i was calm, a little bit surprised. then she touched me. i could feel my lungs going for a long walk and my heart trying to give up. i could hear my brain whispering and screaming at the same time. my body wasn't there.