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Shadow - An unusual love story
Pic credit: My dear friend @mystic_mithi
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Author: Sudhindra Rao
Penname: Sudhi
Introduction:
Sudhindra Rao was born and raised in Bengaluru, Karnataka. Besides being an IT Professional, Sudhi possesses a passion to write in the areas of psychology, philosophy, science, and spirituality. Sudhi believes these different areas are intertwined intricately with each other. His goal is to help his readers understand the various internal struggles that they go through in their body, mind, and soul and how they can deal with this turmoil. Sudhi is currently compiling a book in this area. He is also actively posting his short writings on YourQuote and Writco. Sudhi has co-authored a few anthologies and his personal favorite is ‘Meri Maa’ published by Humrooh Publications Inc.
In this anthology, “Kahaani – An old memory”, Sudhi has written a fiction “An unusual love story” in his unique style. He has fictionalized a very important struggle that we all go through in our lives: our struggle with our own shadow personality. This personality develops within us because of the unfulfilled desires that are hidden or suppressed into dark corners of our psyche. In this fast paced and intense love story, Sudhi brings forth how the shadow personality of three individuals Abhinav, Sunita, and Sapna collide with each other and manifest themselves as greed, lust, deceit, and revenge. Sudhi hopes that his readers will like and enjoy this very riveting and insightful story of life.
Shadow
An unusual love story
By Sudhindra Rao (Sudhi)
Theme: Story of Life
Contents:
Prologue
Story
Epilogue
Prologue - Shadow personality
Our minds are flooded with thoughts. We ignore many thoughts, while we follow some. Certain repeated thoughts turn into desires, and these unfulfilled desires appear to us in our dreams. If dreams are left unaddressed, they start to accumulate into the dark corners of our psyche as our shadow personality. Another important component that forms a shadow life is our suppression of certain characteristics that we possess, but have not yet, or do not want to embrace and accept. This can be because certain characteristics may be deemed unacceptable by society, such as our sexual orientation. It can also be because we have suppressed certain innate talents, perhaps due to lack of opportunity. If we must work two jobs at a young age to feed our family, where will we have the time and money to practice cricket or singing? These suppressed characteristics go into a corner of our personality and form the shadow life within us. Like anything else, the shadow within us can have the potential for creative work or destructive behavior. A typical characteristic of our shadow is that it can project out at the most unexpected time. As these are pent up emotions, they look for a vent to burst open and this can happen when you least expect. For example: you are at your best behavior in front of your guests. After they leave and you are helping your spouse clean up, you suddenly lose your temper over a very silly discussion. The long-term effects of shadow buildup can be devastating and can become a real destructive force within us if we ignore it, or do not want to acknowledge, accept, and deal with it in a proper way. We should learn to recognize the shadow figures within us and learn to deal with it, and slowly overcome it.
How the Shadow Originates
We are all born whole. The infant lives by his instincts—hunger, love, and security. He constantly seeks happiness through every action. The modus operandi is instant gratification in the truest spirit. He lives completely in the present, crying when he is hungry or uncomfortable. He demands immediate attention and is fully focused on whether he is getting what he needs. You may be able to distract a baby for a little while with a toy, but his needs must be satisfied for him to fully calm down. As soon as he is fed or cleaned, he is as happy as ever, either drifting off to sleep or ready to play. Both hunger and the dirty diaper are a thing of the past; he is living in the present again. He is now seeking love. Hunger is a physical instinct, and love is an eternal instinct. Through love, the baby feels secure in the arms of the mother or other loved ones. He learns to sense danger through the moods of the loved ones. When they are angry, he initially does not understand, and will continue to be playful. Over time, he learns how to distinguish between love and other feelings, a knowledge which gradually develops his sense of fear. Typically, he reacts to things instinctively, without considering if his reaction to a situation is deemed good or bad by society. The act of snatching a toy from another child is not a result of malice, but rather an instinctive need to hold onto the things he loves.
As the child begins to grow, he is taught to separate things into good and evil, and with this, the shadow-making process begins. We start dividing our lives by doing things acceptable to society and not doing, or suppressing things, that are deemed unacceptable. All our suppressed thoughts and unacceptable characteristics begin to accumulate in the dark corners of our psyche/personality. Swami Vivekananda says, “Every thought projected by every brain goes on pulsating, as it were, until it meets an object that is fit to receive it.”[1] If stored up long enough without finding a portal, it will come back with tremendous force. All suppressed or hidden characteristics take on a life of their own—the shadow life.
The shadow is anything about us that we have not yet accepted. This repudiation can be caused by criticism or judgment by others or by ourselves. The shadow can also build up when we forcibly suppress a characteristic of ours because we do not have time to develop it. For example, we may not be able to spend time improving our natural ability to paint well, because we must work long hours to put food on the table for our ill parents.
Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst says that both the ego and the shadow come from the same source. This shadow is a terrible monster in our psyche that is ready to flare up at any time.[2]
Story:
An unusual love story
- A story of Sunita, Sapna and Abhinav, or, the Shadow Figures in All of Us
It was pouring on the evening that Abhinav went to the Taj hotel in his limo to deliver a speech. As his car drove to the entrance of the hotel, the crowd assembled to receive him. Cameras flashed as he stepped out of the limo, loosening the collar behind his tie as he stepped under the wide canopy that protected him from the rain. He wore a dark green suit and an off-white shirt, his thick hair nicely gelled and combed back. His well-groomed beard looked great on him. He waved at the crowd and gave a wide smile. Suddenly, the lights from the cameras shone upon a lovely face to his right. As the beautiful girl turned to smile at him, her bouncy hair partially covered her face. She pulled her hair back with long, slender fingers, and looked directly at Abhinav. Sunita had the most attractive face that Abhinav had ever seen. Her smile was welcoming, refreshing, naughty, and enticing.
As their eyes met, a sudden spike of energy ran through their bodies. For a few brief seconds, both completely forgot everything else. Their shadows collided! It was a union of irreconcilable shadows: the dancing of fire and water. It was not love at first sight, but lust and greed at first sight. If you were in the crowd outside the hotel, looking at the hotel entrance from a distance, you would see the two huge shadow figures of Sunita and Abhinav converging towards each other.
Abhinav was born rich: the heir to a diversified portfolio of industries. He was well-educated and a scientist himself. He had an enormous shadow built because of a very rigid upbringing. He was always under strict vigilance and had tight deadlines to meet, which included school and extracurricular activities. His parents pushed him to the limits in every endeavor he pursued. There was no ‘second’ in his vocabulary. He always had to be ‘first.’ As such, Abhinav hardly enjoyed his early youth and college life. He had no spare time or freedom. He was living out the enormous shadow life of his parents (what they themselves wanted to be and were not). This means that Abhinav was forced to do everything that his parents themselves dreamt of doing but could not. He had to live the life of both his parents and fulfill their unrealized dreams such as education in the United States, being good at sports, etc. Abhinav became the vehicle through whom his parents began to realize their own unfulfilled dreams and desires.
After graduating from Harvard University, Abhinav had been married off to the daughter of another business tycoon. The little hope that Abhinav had about having fun and freedom was crushed, as his wife Sapna turned out to be just like his mother in her mannerisms and principles. His euphoric feeling at the start of the marriage soon turned despondent. He had now built an enormous shadow personality of his own, which was now searching for a sense of freedom. The freedom that was stolen away from him because of the stringent upbringing by his parents, and the recent disappointment about not having the freedom with his wife.
Sunita was born into a regular middle-class family. She was well taken care of and was given lots of love at home. Her parents always taught her to stay within certain limits, and the importance of being contented with what you have. Sunita was born beautiful and blossomed into an extremely good-looking girl. She had a slight but interesting imperfection in her face, sensational eyes, a mischievous smile, and a statuesque body which made her stand out in a crowd. Her grandfather had been a playboy in his heydays. He had lost all his wealth by drinking, gambling, and womanizing. Sunita’s parents regularly told her stories about her grandfather and how he squandered away all his money selfishly. They were constantly telling her what to do and what not to do. She had inherited the characteristics of her grandfather, which consequently caused her to dream about being rich, famous, and powerful. The conflict between the demands of her parents and her own desires created a deep split in her psyche, which led to the buildup of an enormous monster of a shadow inside of her. Sunita’s shadow was looking for power, wealth, and fame.
So, both Sunita’s and Abhinav’s shadows were craving for what the other person possessed. We know from science that dissimilar poles attract each other. We know that many times people fall in love with a person who is their opposite in nature and sometimes even behavior. It looks like that the same is true in the world of shadows as well.
Sunita was a successful journalist in a popular business and show magazine, and her latest assignment was to cover Abhinav’s success story through the end of the year. It was already June, and she had less than six months left. She met Abhinav during the break and introduced herself. Her eyes did the rest and brought out the animal instinct within Abhinav that he himself never knew that he possessed. As they shook hands and their eyes locked, their shadows collided once again!
Sunita was able to get only a couple of minutes with Abhinav, which was more than enough for her to use her charm to arrange for an introductory one-on-one breakfast meeting with him during the following week.
They met in a private room at the Taj Residency Hotel. Sunita followed Abhinav’s manager through the well-decorated and posh living room of the suite and through the glass sliding door onto the balcony. It was a spacious balcony and hot breakfast had been arranged. The balcony had low glass walls and small palm trees in large square pots were situated every ten feet around the perimeter. The manager excused himself. The table was laid at the center of the balcony, with a variety of food and two chairs placed on either end. There was a light breeze and a clear sky. As Abhinav walked onto the balcony, he saw Sunita looking out at the breathtaking view of the ocean. The slight breeze made her long black hair flow out and slightly back. As they shook hands and sat down to breakfast, they exchanged some personal life stories and a lot about their hobbies and interests. Abhinav shared his agenda for the coming month, so that she could plan her trip to accompany him and cover his story for the media company she was representing. As they conversed, their shadows began hatching plots against one another.
Within a month’s acquaintance, both Sunita and Abhinav were almost completely driven by their shadow figures. Sunita had tasted Abhinav’s power, fame, and money. He, on the other hand, was captivated by Sunita’s beauty and personality. Sunita had all the qualities that he had been hoping to find in his wife Sapna. He just wanted to surrender to her freedom. She, on the other hand, wanted to encroach on his power.
Their shadows started to drive their relationship!
With the extremely busy schedule that Abhinav had and the tight security always around him, he was finding it difficult to meet with Sunita. On the pretext of a more in-depth coverage of his professional life, they managed to meet alone on a few occasions. These meetings were very special for both, and they would get completely immersed in the situation, enjoying every bit of their time together. Mutual attraction turned into infatuation, and they began to parade their affection in public. The press was eager to catch and air these incidents. Abhinav’s manager received a call from Abhinav’s wife, Sapna, and this kept Abhinav and Sunita further apart. Sapna would call Abhinav every night after dinner and keep talking to him until he fell asleep. Eventually, Abhinav decided to pay his manager to arrange for a night out with Sunita.
This encounter between Abhinav and Sunita was intense and the sex was volatile. By this time, each of their shadows had collected enough energy and had come up with a well-defined action plan to subjugate the other. They started off the night with wine, music, and a great dinner. What started as enjoying each other’s lips, necks, and slowly the rest of the body, turned into periods of intense domination. Sunita’s acts of complete domination were driven by her urge to be in control, have power, and bring down someone with fame. Abhinav’s acts of domination were based more on the need for the complete freedom that Sunita possessed. But it was negative, in that it tried to suppress her freedom. The choking and gagging meant: “I am very jealous of your freedom, and you should not have what I don’t. I am going to confiscate that freedom of yours.” Similarly, Sunita’s shadow was spewing venom on Abhinav and cursing, “You will never get the freedom that you are looking for. Your weakness is your lust for me. I will lure you into giving me what I want from you before you get what you are wanting from me.”
Now that they had tasted what it was like to be the other person and have what was lacking in themselves, their infatuation turned into obsession. The manager double-crossed Abhinav, and Sapna came to know about the night that Abhinav spent with Sunita. She now started doing everything she could to keep Abhinav away from Sunita.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Both Abhinav and Sunita started getting desperate to meet each other. Sapna had created such a tight security around Abhinav that it made it almost impossible for Sunita to get past this fence around Abhinav. Sapna had kept Abhinav extremely occupied with his work by arranging several company mergers and acquisitions. A solid wall was now separating the two. This only escalated each of their shadow personality into monsters.
A few months later, the police received a call from Sunita’s parents that she had not come home nor contacted them for the past two days. The police followed some clues and found her body in a hotel room. The autopsy revealed that Sunita had been tied up, raped, and strangled to death, and the cause of her death was asphyxiation. She also had etchings on her midsection that said, “I want to be you.”
After a thorough investigation, the police arrested Abhinav on charges of murdering Sunita. They found several video recordings of Abhinav carrying out his shadow work in one of the rooms of his mansion. This was not just one recording but several recordings over a period of the past few months. They found the room was full of pictures of Sunita that covered every wall. There were many facial profiles, some full-length pictures, and some seductive poses. The police found videos of Abhinav mutilating Sunita’s pictures and writing phrases on it like, “I am jealous of your freedom, and I will take it away from you,” and, “I am desperate for you and want to see the look of fear in your eyes.”
The police also found a lot of evidence from the day of the murder. The phone conversation between Abhinav and Sunita regarding their meeting place on the night the murder occurred, their fingerprints at the hotel room, the video of their animalistic acts in the hotel room that night, and Abhinav staggering out of the room after tying up Sunita and having an intense sexual encounter with her that included spanking, gagging, and choking her neck until she went limp, were enough evidence to convict Abhinav for murder. Although he pleaded not guilty and claimed his wife had framed him, the evidence against him was too strong.
Four months later, on a bright crisp Saturday morning, Abhinav was executed by hanging. In trying to break through the immurement imposed by his wife and parents, as well as his own conscience, Abhinav unfortunately became a victim of his own defiant shadow. Sunita became a victim of her own greedy shadow figure, which desired to ensnare Abhinav’s wealth and power. Thus, the two of them became victims of their own shadow personalities.
When Sapna had found out about Abhinav and Sunita’s affair, she not only kept them apart, but began to spy on both. She watched in disbelief the shadow acts Abhinav committed in that secret room in his mansion. She had seen him locking himself in the room one night, and afterwards had cameras installed everywhere inside the room. The video recordings showing the bizarre behavior of Abhinav not only confirmed her doubts about him, but also served as a solid proof of his intent to murder Sunita. Sapna then turned her attention towards Sunita. She hired an investigating firm to find out the dirt on Sunita. The hired agency obtained Sunita’s internet search records. Sapna obtained all the details that Sunita had acquired on Abhinav. She then got hidden cameras installed in Sunita’s house as well. When she saw in horror the cut that Sunita inflicted on herself one night in her bathroom that said, “I want to be you,” Sapna suddenly realized how she could destroy this relationship. She was now determined to go to any length to make sure that she would come out as the winner from this insane situation. This provoked Sapna’s shadow figure to slowly start to emerge from the dark and suppressed corners of her personality. She began to realize that her relationship with Abhinav paled in comparison to the super charged relationship that he had with Sunita. Every comparison led to more frustration which turned into jealousy. By now Sapna’s shadow had started taking a definite form, a cruel form that was very angry and wanted revenge. Sapna came up with a master plan which would kill two birds with one stone. Sapna’s plan was powered by the thus far subdued but guileful shadow inside her.
Sapna put her sinful shadow’s plan into action!
Sunita was extremely surprised one night when she got a call from Sapna. They met the next day, and Sapna made an offer to Sunita: if Sunita would agree to be recorded while having an affair with Abhinav, she would get 100 crore rupees in cash and a company stock worth another 150 crores. Sapna assured her that she was just using this recording to get a huge divorce settlement, and in turn would pay Sunita for her help. Sunita’s greed overpowered her judgment, and she agreed to the plan.
Sapna also started to work her plan on Abhinav. Whenever he would emerge from his secret room in their house, Sapna would settle him down with a drink and tell him how much she loved him, and that she would help him to get over his obsession with Sunita. Through repeated effort she convinced him that all she wanted was to see him free and happy. She finally told him that she was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to get him back: she would allow him to have a one-night stand with Sunita for one final time. Sapna convinced Abhinav to take it all out on Sunita that night, so that he could get her out of his system for good. Abhinav could not believe this turn of events. He was so obsessed with Sunita that his mind was completely overpowered by his emotions. He gratefully agreed to this offer, as he was desperate to touch Sunita, to smell her, worship her, and above all, punish her.
That night happened!
Sapna had arranged for a double suite in a hotel and settled herself down with her favorite glass of wine in the adjacent room to where Sunita and Abhinav met. Sapna had the door between the two suites unlocked but closed so that she could get into their room at any time. After having sex with Sunita, Abhinav left the suite, and he was driven home by his manager. Sapna, who had watched the whole encounter between Sunita and Abhinav while she was hiding in the adjacent room, kept the camera focused on the exit door of the room as Abhinav left. She then turned off the recording and walked up to Sunita who was still tied to the bed. Sapna slowly removed the cloth that was covering Sunita’s mouth and nose. Sunita began to cough as she was trying to catch a breath. As Sapna slowly removed her eye cover, Sunita fluttered her eyes and recoiled in horror as she saw Sapna standing there. With the night lamp illuminating Sapna’s face, Sunita noticed the gloves Sapna was wearing and her eerie, cold smile. Without losing time, Sapna swiftly tied Sunita’s mouth, nose, and eyes again with the cloth and applied enough pressure to her neck. Sunita struggled and moaned and finally let out a small noise as her body quivered vigorously one last time and then went limp. Sapna took one last look at Sunita’s dead body and left the room in a hurry with the vengeful satisfaction of letting Sunita know who her killer was. Sapna had plotted and executed the perfect murder, killing two birds with one SHADOW-her own shadow that was seeking revenge.
This is the unusual love story of three people, where each one of them (knowingly or unknowingly) were obsessed in their love of their own shadow figures more than their love for their partners. Each of them very highly influenced and driven by their own shadow personalities. Abhinav’s shadow wanted what Sunita possessed, while Sunita’s shadow wanted what Abhinav had. Sapna’s deceitful shadow devoured the other two.
Epilogue
If three shadows can be so destructive, just imagine the combined negative force of all the evil shadows in this world. It is clear from this story that our unaccepted and less desirable characteristics, when hidden or subdued, bury themselves within the subconscious and accumulate as the shadow personality, which can then resurface with tremendous power. Is there any way out for us from the clutches of our own shadow life or not? Will there ever be a panacea for this?
As we have seen in our story of Sunita, Sapna and Abhinav, the root cause of our shadow personality is due to the unfulfilled desires that are hidden or suppressed into dark corners of our psyche. The cause could be our upbringing, or the harsh circumstances some of us go through when we are trying to blossom in our lives. The suppressed and unfulfilled desires or passions will later manifest themselves as lust, greed, anger, jealousy, deceit etc. Our thinking and discrimination start to get influenced by these negative characteristics that dominate our personality, resulting in irreparable damage to our lives and to others.
As parents, we must let our children follow their passions and be supportive. As a society, we must accept people of various backgrounds and lifestyles or preferences as part of the mainstream. As individuals, we should learn to acknowledge, embrace, and accept our own shadow life and harness it for the betterment of ourselves and others.
The following prayer is helpful when seeking to embrace our own shadow personality:
Oh Paramaatma (Lord), you are the ONE source and ONE destination for everything in this universe. I am now offering to your feet both my good and evil qualities with equal dignity. Please bestow upon me your Grace and help me rise above my shadow life. I completely depend on you, and you are the only ONE who can show me the way and lead me from not knowing about my own shadow life, to awareness, to acceptance, and eventually to spirituality.
[1] Vivekananda, Karma Yoga
[2] Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow
© Sudhi
If you like the story, please inform your followers
#love #WriteIndia
#life&Life #life #inspirational #motivational #writco #yqwriter #writcoapp #yqbaba
Author: Sudhindra Rao
Penname: Sudhi
Introduction:
Sudhindra Rao was born and raised in Bengaluru, Karnataka. Besides being an IT Professional, Sudhi possesses a passion to write in the areas of psychology, philosophy, science, and spirituality. Sudhi believes these different areas are intertwined intricately with each other. His goal is to help his readers understand the various internal struggles that they go through in their body, mind, and soul and how they can deal with this turmoil. Sudhi is currently compiling a book in this area. He is also actively posting his short writings on YourQuote and Writco. Sudhi has co-authored a few anthologies and his personal favorite is ‘Meri Maa’ published by Humrooh Publications Inc.
In this anthology, “Kahaani – An old memory”, Sudhi has written a fiction “An unusual love story” in his unique style. He has fictionalized a very important struggle that we all go through in our lives: our struggle with our own shadow personality. This personality develops within us because of the unfulfilled desires that are hidden or suppressed into dark corners of our psyche. In this fast paced and intense love story, Sudhi brings forth how the shadow personality of three individuals Abhinav, Sunita, and Sapna collide with each other and manifest themselves as greed, lust, deceit, and revenge. Sudhi hopes that his readers will like and enjoy this very riveting and insightful story of life.
Shadow
An unusual love story
By Sudhindra Rao (Sudhi)
Theme: Story of Life
Contents:
Prologue
Story
Epilogue
Prologue - Shadow personality
Our minds are flooded with thoughts. We ignore many thoughts, while we follow some. Certain repeated thoughts turn into desires, and these unfulfilled desires appear to us in our dreams. If dreams are left unaddressed, they start to accumulate into the dark corners of our psyche as our shadow personality. Another important component that forms a shadow life is our suppression of certain characteristics that we possess, but have not yet, or do not want to embrace and accept. This can be because certain characteristics may be deemed unacceptable by society, such as our sexual orientation. It can also be because we have suppressed certain innate talents, perhaps due to lack of opportunity. If we must work two jobs at a young age to feed our family, where will we have the time and money to practice cricket or singing? These suppressed characteristics go into a corner of our personality and form the shadow life within us. Like anything else, the shadow within us can have the potential for creative work or destructive behavior. A typical characteristic of our shadow is that it can project out at the most unexpected time. As these are pent up emotions, they look for a vent to burst open and this can happen when you least expect. For example: you are at your best behavior in front of your guests. After they leave and you are helping your spouse clean up, you suddenly lose your temper over a very silly discussion. The long-term effects of shadow buildup can be devastating and can become a real destructive force within us if we ignore it, or do not want to acknowledge, accept, and deal with it in a proper way. We should learn to recognize the shadow figures within us and learn to deal with it, and slowly overcome it.
How the Shadow Originates
We are all born whole. The infant lives by his instincts—hunger, love, and security. He constantly seeks happiness through every action. The modus operandi is instant gratification in the truest spirit. He lives completely in the present, crying when he is hungry or uncomfortable. He demands immediate attention and is fully focused on whether he is getting what he needs. You may be able to distract a baby for a little while with a toy, but his needs must be satisfied for him to fully calm down. As soon as he is fed or cleaned, he is as happy as ever, either drifting off to sleep or ready to play. Both hunger and the dirty diaper are a thing of the past; he is living in the present again. He is now seeking love. Hunger is a physical instinct, and love is an eternal instinct. Through love, the baby feels secure in the arms of the mother or other loved ones. He learns to sense danger through the moods of the loved ones. When they are angry, he initially does not understand, and will continue to be playful. Over time, he learns how to distinguish between love and other feelings, a knowledge which gradually develops his sense of fear. Typically, he reacts to things instinctively, without considering if his reaction to a situation is deemed good or bad by society. The act of snatching a toy from another child is not a result of malice, but rather an instinctive need to hold onto the things he loves.
As the child begins to grow, he is taught to separate things into good and evil, and with this, the shadow-making process begins. We start dividing our lives by doing things acceptable to society and not doing, or suppressing things, that are deemed unacceptable. All our suppressed thoughts and unacceptable characteristics begin to accumulate in the dark corners of our psyche/personality. Swami Vivekananda says, “Every thought projected by every brain goes on pulsating, as it were, until it meets an object that is fit to receive it.”[1] If stored up long enough without finding a portal, it will come back with tremendous force. All suppressed or hidden characteristics take on a life of their own—the shadow life.
The shadow is anything about us that we have not yet accepted. This repudiation can be caused by criticism or judgment by others or by ourselves. The shadow can also build up when we forcibly suppress a characteristic of ours because we do not have time to develop it. For example, we may not be able to spend time improving our natural ability to paint well, because we must work long hours to put food on the table for our ill parents.
Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst says that both the ego and the shadow come from the same source. This shadow is a terrible monster in our psyche that is ready to flare up at any time.[2]
Story:
An unusual love story
- A story of Sunita, Sapna and Abhinav, or, the Shadow Figures in All of Us
It was pouring on the evening that Abhinav went to the Taj hotel in his limo to deliver a speech. As his car drove to the entrance of the hotel, the crowd assembled to receive him. Cameras flashed as he stepped out of the limo, loosening the collar behind his tie as he stepped under the wide canopy that protected him from the rain. He wore a dark green suit and an off-white shirt, his thick hair nicely gelled and combed back. His well-groomed beard looked great on him. He waved at the crowd and gave a wide smile. Suddenly, the lights from the cameras shone upon a lovely face to his right. As the beautiful girl turned to smile at him, her bouncy hair partially covered her face. She pulled her hair back with long, slender fingers, and looked directly at Abhinav. Sunita had the most attractive face that Abhinav had ever seen. Her smile was welcoming, refreshing, naughty, and enticing.
As their eyes met, a sudden spike of energy ran through their bodies. For a few brief seconds, both completely forgot everything else. Their shadows collided! It was a union of irreconcilable shadows: the dancing of fire and water. It was not love at first sight, but lust and greed at first sight. If you were in the crowd outside the hotel, looking at the hotel entrance from a distance, you would see the two huge shadow figures of Sunita and Abhinav converging towards each other.
Abhinav was born rich: the heir to a diversified portfolio of industries. He was well-educated and a scientist himself. He had an enormous shadow built because of a very rigid upbringing. He was always under strict vigilance and had tight deadlines to meet, which included school and extracurricular activities. His parents pushed him to the limits in every endeavor he pursued. There was no ‘second’ in his vocabulary. He always had to be ‘first.’ As such, Abhinav hardly enjoyed his early youth and college life. He had no spare time or freedom. He was living out the enormous shadow life of his parents (what they themselves wanted to be and were not). This means that Abhinav was forced to do everything that his parents themselves dreamt of doing but could not. He had to live the life of both his parents and fulfill their unrealized dreams such as education in the United States, being good at sports, etc. Abhinav became the vehicle through whom his parents began to realize their own unfulfilled dreams and desires.
After graduating from Harvard University, Abhinav had been married off to the daughter of another business tycoon. The little hope that Abhinav had about having fun and freedom was crushed, as his wife Sapna turned out to be just like his mother in her mannerisms and principles. His euphoric feeling at the start of the marriage soon turned despondent. He had now built an enormous shadow personality of his own, which was now searching for a sense of freedom. The freedom that was stolen away from him because of the stringent upbringing by his parents, and the recent disappointment about not having the freedom with his wife.
Sunita was born into a regular middle-class family. She was well taken care of and was given lots of love at home. Her parents always taught her to stay within certain limits, and the importance of being contented with what you have. Sunita was born beautiful and blossomed into an extremely good-looking girl. She had a slight but interesting imperfection in her face, sensational eyes, a mischievous smile, and a statuesque body which made her stand out in a crowd. Her grandfather had been a playboy in his heydays. He had lost all his wealth by drinking, gambling, and womanizing. Sunita’s parents regularly told her stories about her grandfather and how he squandered away all his money selfishly. They were constantly telling her what to do and what not to do. She had inherited the characteristics of her grandfather, which consequently caused her to dream about being rich, famous, and powerful. The conflict between the demands of her parents and her own desires created a deep split in her psyche, which led to the buildup of an enormous monster of a shadow inside of her. Sunita’s shadow was looking for power, wealth, and fame.
So, both Sunita’s and Abhinav’s shadows were craving for what the other person possessed. We know from science that dissimilar poles attract each other. We know that many times people fall in love with a person who is their opposite in nature and sometimes even behavior. It looks like that the same is true in the world of shadows as well.
Sunita was a successful journalist in a popular business and show magazine, and her latest assignment was to cover Abhinav’s success story through the end of the year. It was already June, and she had less than six months left. She met Abhinav during the break and introduced herself. Her eyes did the rest and brought out the animal instinct within Abhinav that he himself never knew that he possessed. As they shook hands and their eyes locked, their shadows collided once again!
Sunita was able to get only a couple of minutes with Abhinav, which was more than enough for her to use her charm to arrange for an introductory one-on-one breakfast meeting with him during the following week.
They met in a private room at the Taj Residency Hotel. Sunita followed Abhinav’s manager through the well-decorated and posh living room of the suite and through the glass sliding door onto the balcony. It was a spacious balcony and hot breakfast had been arranged. The balcony had low glass walls and small palm trees in large square pots were situated every ten feet around the perimeter. The manager excused himself. The table was laid at the center of the balcony, with a variety of food and two chairs placed on either end. There was a light breeze and a clear sky. As Abhinav walked onto the balcony, he saw Sunita looking out at the breathtaking view of the ocean. The slight breeze made her long black hair flow out and slightly back. As they shook hands and sat down to breakfast, they exchanged some personal life stories and a lot about their hobbies and interests. Abhinav shared his agenda for the coming month, so that she could plan her trip to accompany him and cover his story for the media company she was representing. As they conversed, their shadows began hatching plots against one another.
Within a month’s acquaintance, both Sunita and Abhinav were almost completely driven by their shadow figures. Sunita had tasted Abhinav’s power, fame, and money. He, on the other hand, was captivated by Sunita’s beauty and personality. Sunita had all the qualities that he had been hoping to find in his wife Sapna. He just wanted to surrender to her freedom. She, on the other hand, wanted to encroach on his power.
Their shadows started to drive their relationship!
With the extremely busy schedule that Abhinav had and the tight security always around him, he was finding it difficult to meet with Sunita. On the pretext of a more in-depth coverage of his professional life, they managed to meet alone on a few occasions. These meetings were very special for both, and they would get completely immersed in the situation, enjoying every bit of their time together. Mutual attraction turned into infatuation, and they began to parade their affection in public. The press was eager to catch and air these incidents. Abhinav’s manager received a call from Abhinav’s wife, Sapna, and this kept Abhinav and Sunita further apart. Sapna would call Abhinav every night after dinner and keep talking to him until he fell asleep. Eventually, Abhinav decided to pay his manager to arrange for a night out with Sunita.
This encounter between Abhinav and Sunita was intense and the sex was volatile. By this time, each of their shadows had collected enough energy and had come up with a well-defined action plan to subjugate the other. They started off the night with wine, music, and a great dinner. What started as enjoying each other’s lips, necks, and slowly the rest of the body, turned into periods of intense domination. Sunita’s acts of complete domination were driven by her urge to be in control, have power, and bring down someone with fame. Abhinav’s acts of domination were based more on the need for the complete freedom that Sunita possessed. But it was negative, in that it tried to suppress her freedom. The choking and gagging meant: “I am very jealous of your freedom, and you should not have what I don’t. I am going to confiscate that freedom of yours.” Similarly, Sunita’s shadow was spewing venom on Abhinav and cursing, “You will never get the freedom that you are looking for. Your weakness is your lust for me. I will lure you into giving me what I want from you before you get what you are wanting from me.”
Now that they had tasted what it was like to be the other person and have what was lacking in themselves, their infatuation turned into obsession. The manager double-crossed Abhinav, and Sapna came to know about the night that Abhinav spent with Sunita. She now started doing everything she could to keep Abhinav away from Sunita.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Both Abhinav and Sunita started getting desperate to meet each other. Sapna had created such a tight security around Abhinav that it made it almost impossible for Sunita to get past this fence around Abhinav. Sapna had kept Abhinav extremely occupied with his work by arranging several company mergers and acquisitions. A solid wall was now separating the two. This only escalated each of their shadow personality into monsters.
A few months later, the police received a call from Sunita’s parents that she had not come home nor contacted them for the past two days. The police followed some clues and found her body in a hotel room. The autopsy revealed that Sunita had been tied up, raped, and strangled to death, and the cause of her death was asphyxiation. She also had etchings on her midsection that said, “I want to be you.”
After a thorough investigation, the police arrested Abhinav on charges of murdering Sunita. They found several video recordings of Abhinav carrying out his shadow work in one of the rooms of his mansion. This was not just one recording but several recordings over a period of the past few months. They found the room was full of pictures of Sunita that covered every wall. There were many facial profiles, some full-length pictures, and some seductive poses. The police found videos of Abhinav mutilating Sunita’s pictures and writing phrases on it like, “I am jealous of your freedom, and I will take it away from you,” and, “I am desperate for you and want to see the look of fear in your eyes.”
The police also found a lot of evidence from the day of the murder. The phone conversation between Abhinav and Sunita regarding their meeting place on the night the murder occurred, their fingerprints at the hotel room, the video of their animalistic acts in the hotel room that night, and Abhinav staggering out of the room after tying up Sunita and having an intense sexual encounter with her that included spanking, gagging, and choking her neck until she went limp, were enough evidence to convict Abhinav for murder. Although he pleaded not guilty and claimed his wife had framed him, the evidence against him was too strong.
Four months later, on a bright crisp Saturday morning, Abhinav was executed by hanging. In trying to break through the immurement imposed by his wife and parents, as well as his own conscience, Abhinav unfortunately became a victim of his own defiant shadow. Sunita became a victim of her own greedy shadow figure, which desired to ensnare Abhinav’s wealth and power. Thus, the two of them became victims of their own shadow personalities.
When Sapna had found out about Abhinav and Sunita’s affair, she not only kept them apart, but began to spy on both. She watched in disbelief the shadow acts Abhinav committed in that secret room in his mansion. She had seen him locking himself in the room one night, and afterwards had cameras installed everywhere inside the room. The video recordings showing the bizarre behavior of Abhinav not only confirmed her doubts about him, but also served as a solid proof of his intent to murder Sunita. Sapna then turned her attention towards Sunita. She hired an investigating firm to find out the dirt on Sunita. The hired agency obtained Sunita’s internet search records. Sapna obtained all the details that Sunita had acquired on Abhinav. She then got hidden cameras installed in Sunita’s house as well. When she saw in horror the cut that Sunita inflicted on herself one night in her bathroom that said, “I want to be you,” Sapna suddenly realized how she could destroy this relationship. She was now determined to go to any length to make sure that she would come out as the winner from this insane situation. This provoked Sapna’s shadow figure to slowly start to emerge from the dark and suppressed corners of her personality. She began to realize that her relationship with Abhinav paled in comparison to the super charged relationship that he had with Sunita. Every comparison led to more frustration which turned into jealousy. By now Sapna’s shadow had started taking a definite form, a cruel form that was very angry and wanted revenge. Sapna came up with a master plan which would kill two birds with one stone. Sapna’s plan was powered by the thus far subdued but guileful shadow inside her.
Sapna put her sinful shadow’s plan into action!
Sunita was extremely surprised one night when she got a call from Sapna. They met the next day, and Sapna made an offer to Sunita: if Sunita would agree to be recorded while having an affair with Abhinav, she would get 100 crore rupees in cash and a company stock worth another 150 crores. Sapna assured her that she was just using this recording to get a huge divorce settlement, and in turn would pay Sunita for her help. Sunita’s greed overpowered her judgment, and she agreed to the plan.
Sapna also started to work her plan on Abhinav. Whenever he would emerge from his secret room in their house, Sapna would settle him down with a drink and tell him how much she loved him, and that she would help him to get over his obsession with Sunita. Through repeated effort she convinced him that all she wanted was to see him free and happy. She finally told him that she was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to get him back: she would allow him to have a one-night stand with Sunita for one final time. Sapna convinced Abhinav to take it all out on Sunita that night, so that he could get her out of his system for good. Abhinav could not believe this turn of events. He was so obsessed with Sunita that his mind was completely overpowered by his emotions. He gratefully agreed to this offer, as he was desperate to touch Sunita, to smell her, worship her, and above all, punish her.
That night happened!
Sapna had arranged for a double suite in a hotel and settled herself down with her favorite glass of wine in the adjacent room to where Sunita and Abhinav met. Sapna had the door between the two suites unlocked but closed so that she could get into their room at any time. After having sex with Sunita, Abhinav left the suite, and he was driven home by his manager. Sapna, who had watched the whole encounter between Sunita and Abhinav while she was hiding in the adjacent room, kept the camera focused on the exit door of the room as Abhinav left. She then turned off the recording and walked up to Sunita who was still tied to the bed. Sapna slowly removed the cloth that was covering Sunita’s mouth and nose. Sunita began to cough as she was trying to catch a breath. As Sapna slowly removed her eye cover, Sunita fluttered her eyes and recoiled in horror as she saw Sapna standing there. With the night lamp illuminating Sapna’s face, Sunita noticed the gloves Sapna was wearing and her eerie, cold smile. Without losing time, Sapna swiftly tied Sunita’s mouth, nose, and eyes again with the cloth and applied enough pressure to her neck. Sunita struggled and moaned and finally let out a small noise as her body quivered vigorously one last time and then went limp. Sapna took one last look at Sunita’s dead body and left the room in a hurry with the vengeful satisfaction of letting Sunita know who her killer was. Sapna had plotted and executed the perfect murder, killing two birds with one SHADOW-her own shadow that was seeking revenge.
This is the unusual love story of three people, where each one of them (knowingly or unknowingly) were obsessed in their love of their own shadow figures more than their love for their partners. Each of them very highly influenced and driven by their own shadow personalities. Abhinav’s shadow wanted what Sunita possessed, while Sunita’s shadow wanted what Abhinav had. Sapna’s deceitful shadow devoured the other two.
Epilogue
If three shadows can be so destructive, just imagine the combined negative force of all the evil shadows in this world. It is clear from this story that our unaccepted and less desirable characteristics, when hidden or subdued, bury themselves within the subconscious and accumulate as the shadow personality, which can then resurface with tremendous power. Is there any way out for us from the clutches of our own shadow life or not? Will there ever be a panacea for this?
As we have seen in our story of Sunita, Sapna and Abhinav, the root cause of our shadow personality is due to the unfulfilled desires that are hidden or suppressed into dark corners of our psyche. The cause could be our upbringing, or the harsh circumstances some of us go through when we are trying to blossom in our lives. The suppressed and unfulfilled desires or passions will later manifest themselves as lust, greed, anger, jealousy, deceit etc. Our thinking and discrimination start to get influenced by these negative characteristics that dominate our personality, resulting in irreparable damage to our lives and to others.
As parents, we must let our children follow their passions and be supportive. As a society, we must accept people of various backgrounds and lifestyles or preferences as part of the mainstream. As individuals, we should learn to acknowledge, embrace, and accept our own shadow life and harness it for the betterment of ourselves and others.
The following prayer is helpful when seeking to embrace our own shadow personality:
Oh Paramaatma (Lord), you are the ONE source and ONE destination for everything in this universe. I am now offering to your feet both my good and evil qualities with equal dignity. Please bestow upon me your Grace and help me rise above my shadow life. I completely depend on you, and you are the only ONE who can show me the way and lead me from not knowing about my own shadow life, to awareness, to acceptance, and eventually to spirituality.
[1] Vivekananda, Karma Yoga
[2] Johnson, Owning Your Own Shadow
© Sudhi
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