The Dark Ferris wheel  controller of my thoughts...

Imagine this a Ferris wheel 10 times the size of a normal one.

It moves at a speed of 100 mph, which is much faster than normal, and it has over 10,000 seats, and to top it off it never slows down.

Could you imagine trying to get on or off this towering monstrosity...

Impossible is the first thought that comes to mind?

This nightmare of a carnival ride is my everyday reality inside my mind. In all my travels and through all my accomplishments and
endless struggle,
I have learned so much and came so far,
but I just can't figure out how to slow it down and I find myself exhausted even when well-rested...
Anything thing bad to come my way is without a doubt self destruction from choices developed while self-medicating...
My refusal to quit chasing woman after woman will never be one of my strong suits, and between ocd and addiction I obsessed with immovable insecurities...

I've never been hypnotized personally, but I'm finding myself being flung down the rabbit hole so to speak,
except nothing but a black hole sucking any & everything in it's path into Oblivion...
An Oblivion more terrifying than any of the ones on the science fiction pictures.
This story has still not ended...
Enlightened beyond most and not sure how to use it. My story has always been pulled into the direction of a higher power...
Our father Lord in heaven please help me find my way home for the last time...
I get what you want for me and I agree to any and all terms please show me how to let go and have faith.

#self-respect #inspire #depression #adhd #psychological #relationships