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A letter for those who does not want to ache
To the person who dreams to be ice and steel,
Take it back, for I hope you'll never feel the way I feel. How I want to break the dams but can't. How I yearn to feel my heart ache. How I force my tears to fall, my breath to heave just to release this something in my chest that's banging. That's screaming and clawing and biting and...
Cold. Hard. Walls. That's what's inside here and here. Like bulletproof but everything proof. The screams only echoes inside. The claws only tears my insides. The bite only sends ache in my jaws further numbing my teeth. I wait for them to fall bloodily. For me to fall bloodily. Maybe that would chip the impenetrable walls but they don't. They don't. I don't. I stay intact not a dent to be shown. My body stays impossibly intact and aloof to how that something in me searches for a crack, a break, a loose wall, a glint of something more than armour. More than steel and bones. More than this unchanging facade that looks at me in the mirror.
So to the person who dreams to be ice and steel, I wish you'd bathe in the sun first, cry out to the world your everything. I wish you'd laugh hard till tears fall, I wish you'd sit first in a session with a shrink. I wish you'd fall in love with yourself first. Be hugged, be kissed and be cherished so hard and then only after then should you decide. Because trust me, when your skin has changed into marble and your eyes turn unseeing. When your lungs become incapable of everything but that ryhtmic in and out and your heart is nothing more than for pumping blood. It is hard to turn back to human.
×Edit: hey, umm, if you want to hear it in my voice go check out my TikTok @dreikim_ja. Also, comment on what you want to listen to next ×
© Drei A.
Take it back, for I hope you'll never feel the way I feel. How I want to break the dams but can't. How I yearn to feel my heart ache. How I force my tears to fall, my breath to heave just to release this something in my chest that's banging. That's screaming and clawing and biting and...
Cold. Hard. Walls. That's what's inside here and here. Like bulletproof but everything proof. The screams only echoes inside. The claws only tears my insides. The bite only sends ache in my jaws further numbing my teeth. I wait for them to fall bloodily. For me to fall bloodily. Maybe that would chip the impenetrable walls but they don't. They don't. I don't. I stay intact not a dent to be shown. My body stays impossibly intact and aloof to how that something in me searches for a crack, a break, a loose wall, a glint of something more than armour. More than steel and bones. More than this unchanging facade that looks at me in the mirror.
So to the person who dreams to be ice and steel, I wish you'd bathe in the sun first, cry out to the world your everything. I wish you'd laugh hard till tears fall, I wish you'd sit first in a session with a shrink. I wish you'd fall in love with yourself first. Be hugged, be kissed and be cherished so hard and then only after then should you decide. Because trust me, when your skin has changed into marble and your eyes turn unseeing. When your lungs become incapable of everything but that ryhtmic in and out and your heart is nothing more than for pumping blood. It is hard to turn back to human.
×Edit: hey, umm, if you want to hear it in my voice go check out my TikTok @dreikim_ja. Also, comment on what you want to listen to next ×
© Drei A.
