I still remember the first time someone told me that there's a new kind of virus in China. I didn't take it seriously. I remember few more people telling me the same thing. I still didn't take it seriously. Then I remember watching the news of the same, perplexedly I watched people in white suits carry dead bodies and all I thought was "Well it's China's problem".
The level of ignorance I had!

I still remember the first cases and the first precautions.
I remember crossing the road to my office, looking ahead and realising that I'm the only one on the road, while simultaneously hearing the safety protocols in my phone when I called home. It was the strangest feeling. Little did I know that it would soon be the new normal.
I still remember the first time I stood in line to get my temperature checked before entering the building. It was fascinating. Standing in line...crowd....people...no masks!
I still remember talking with the people in my office over a bottle of watered-down sanitizer, wishing for work-from-homes. Now, it's almost an year that I've been stuck at home.
I remember walking down from my office one day at 6 o'clock, a time when usually the roads would be jammed with traffic, but I was alone again, not a single soul to be seen. The place never looked more beautiful or more serene.
I remember trying to pick out a fancy date in 2020 to leave the office. The rest 9 months became a single blur to me.
I remember telling my friends that I would come back for the final resignation processes once everyone gets back to the office so that I could have a proper farewell and click a few photos maybe. I waited and waited and finally gave up. I had to go alone, I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye, neither to the people nor to the place where I've spent more than an year of my life.

I remember the first of many lockdowns, the first plate bangings and the first diya lightings. I remember buying my first mask and carrying my first pocket sanitizer. I remember wishing for more fun, colorful masks, still oblivious to the fact that how restricting they can be.

I remember the first everything but what's strange is that it's getting harder and harder for me to remember the last time I stepped out of my home without a fear. A fear of getting a disease. A fear of illness and death. A fear rooted in concern for loved ones.
No one knows what next year is going to bring us but I wish with my life it would atleast be the beginning of the end of this deadly crisis.

I just wish that my little brat at home can take his first step outside without any fear in the coming year.
I wish he get to see that there are more to his little world than what he sees now; that there are oceans and mountains, malls and busy streets and even clogged up canals in this stupid world. None of which he has ever seen in the 1½ years of his life.

I wish everyone could atleast start bouncing back to normal, not like what we see now, but like old times, without fear, without masks, without sanitizers, without getting their dreams and plans shattered, without checking illness rates, without checking death rates.

So more than a happy new year
I wish everyone a safe new year. Let it be an year without fear.
.
.
@fernweh

#lockdownblues
© Chintha