I always felt as if
I wasn’t meant to be on this side of eternity.
The meaning of friend and family meant nothing to me
since nobody knew my whereabouts around the city right before my timely death.

My physical beauty, always had an allure,
attracting men and the finest things in life
My tainted identity had caused me strife.
Jumping from one relationship to another
was my way to numb my shame and guilt
that has been built up since I was a child
when my mother passed away from a disease
and my father disappeared in the dark mist.
My elder sisters became strange from afar.

For years, I masked the pain with a smile,
Hiding my woes and emptiness inside.
Partying with friends, going wild,
Enjoying my youthful life.
Life and changes came around
and all my friends moved on
I became a forgotten ghost in the city I loved.

My shuttered identity
didn't let me move on.
I hoped i would,
find peace roaming the street
Like a wounded ghost
looking for a bodily host with ease.

It was Christmas Eve 2003, alone in my apartment.
I was hoping the wrapped-up Christmas gifts
Would restore my relationship with my friends and families.

It was the middle of the night
I took my last breath on my bedsit
An asthma attack took me by surprise,
My soul floated above my dead corpse
while the Television still on before my eyes.

Three years came and went;
I became a mummified skeleton
in my haunted apartment.
There was no knock on the door,
No birthday phone calls,
No neighbours peeking through the windows,
Just my decaying body staring at the loud TV.

It was January 26, 2006
And finally The police and landlord
picked the lock coming through blasting!!!
Asking for missing rent payments,
All they came across was my decaying body skeletons.
Laying in front of the television that was left on for three years
I became a forgotten soul that no one cared.

R.I..P Joyce Carol Vincent

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