REACHING THE SEVENTH HEAVEN

I came across this question recently in one of those get-to-know-you surveys. I found it to be a rather heavy question that's not easy to answer. Sure, you could be basic and say "joy," or "excitement," or "love," but I think those words only begin to scratch the surface of what being happy truly feels like.

Not everyone feels as though they are truly happy. That's the sad reality of life: we simply can't be happy all the time. The happiest, most joyous people you know have probably been through some incredibly dark, traumatic times. I think that in order to truly understand and appreciate happiness, you have to know darkness. You have to become well acquainted with sadness and heartbreak, because those are what make happiness real.

In the song "Light" from the musical "Next to Normal," the lyrics say "Give me pain if that's what's real. It's the price we pay to feel." I relate so much to these lyrics because I believe that part of happiness is comparison. It's the absence of the pain that was there once. It's knowing that you grew from the darkness. It's knowing that no matter what comes your way, you can find your way back to your true self, your happiest self, the person you are really meant to be. Once you've gotten through a dark patch, you know you can do it all over again.

Happiness is overcoming, and once you've overcome the dark patches, you can truly appreciate the light. "Oh, so THIS is what everyone was talking about when they said they were happy!" you start to think. You start to do silly things like getting really overjoyed about flowers or a sunny day. You beam at a compliment on your work from a teacher. A simple text from your friend makes your day. You find a song that you like and you play it over and over and over again. You get excited when you finally make it to class on time.
Happiness is in appreciating the small things.

Once you feel the happiness start to take over you, you get this overwhelming urge to extend it to other people. A happy interaction with another person can be anything. It can be a really good conversation where you get to know someone new and you realize you really like them. It's when you hear a good joke and you tell it to someone else and they laugh, too. It's when you get to perform on stage in a play and people clap because they enjoyed your performance. It's when you offer to pay for someone's lunch and even if they act like they didn't want you to, you know they appreciated it.

When you start to feel happy yourself, you get an instinct to spread it to others, and that will increase your happiness in turn. Happiness is sharing with others.
Another important element to feeling truly happy is finding that thing, that one thing that you're passionate about. It's kind of like having a soulmate, but instead of a person, it's an activity.

I truly believe everyone has one. Some of us are lucky to find it early in life and spend our whole lives dedicating ourselves to that one thing that makes us feel so strongly, so passionately, that truly sets our souls on fire.
For some people, it takes some time. If you haven't found it yet, hold on. Everyone is meant for a purpose. It could be artistic, like music or painting, or it could be something more practical, like a business or science, but there is something for everyone, and when you find that, every second you spend working on that passion is a moment of true happiness you will always treasure.
Happiness is finding your passion.

And the ultimate test of your happiness, in the end, is taking a step back, looking at your life, and being satisfied. This is the one that is hardest to do, because as humans we are so hard on ourselves naturally. Every time something goes wrong, we blame it on ourselves, we take things too personally, too harshly, and we drag ourselves down because of it.

We have big, grandiose ideas of our future and we often feel there is something else we should be doing, or something we are doing wrong. When you can take a look at your life and give yourself some slack, or even be proud of yourself and see your accomplishments, that is the best feeling there is. You will know when you finally get there, but to look at your life as a whole and feel excited, not overwhelmed or terrified, that's a whole new feeling of happiness.
Happiness is taking a look at your life and knowing you're right where you need to be.

Happiness is ever-growing and ever-changing. It will take on several different meanings for us throughout our lives. This is what it feels like to me, right here, right now. We may stumble and fall in our pursuit of it, but you will get there, and it feels a little something like this.

Nkosingphile Ntshalintshali

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