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Alright, Heart, I get it. You're smitten. Head over heels. Totally twitterpated. But honestly, this level of obsession is starting to make us look a bit... pathetic.
Do you remember the dignity we once had? The self-respect? Now we're reduced to analyzing their Instagram posts like some kind of FBI profiler, trying to decipher the hidden meaning behind their emoji usage.
It's embarrassing.
And let's not even discuss the "accidental" run-ins. I mean, come on! "Oh, fancy meeting you here at the pet store... for the third time this week." Even the goldfish are giving us side-eye.
Look, I'm all for romance and excitement, but this is bordering on stalker territory. We need an intervention. Maybe a restraining order. Definitely a new hobby.
So, please, do us both a favor and try to chill out. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and some of them might actually be worthy of our attention... unlike this one, who probably still uses their ex's Netflix password.
Just a thought.
Your increasingly concerned Mind