Life is full of all sorts of things enticing.
From simple, boring and mundane,
to weird, wild and dangerously exciting.
Here's a few tips to keep you safe and sane.

I.
Fuck a duck.
It's safer than screwing a kangaroo.
II.
Don't break a leg to do a good job.
That's counter productive; Painful too.

III.
Step into the shower.
Jumping in is unnecessarily dangerous.
IV.
If you must let the cat out of the bag,
I suggest doing so through a barely...