fading in and out of existence this numbness keeps me from loving right no matter how badly I wanna be loyal I'm a fuck up but I'm honest and I'm just sick of myself and I just hate these feelings and I run hide and break and I don't think any one could love me ...I just hate being like this I hate being stuck like this people tell me it's my fault I say it's what I deserve ...I fucked up a lot as a kid and my mom was sick in her head and body ...god she broke my soul to the point where I wanted to die at 17 but what's fucked up is she's the one who passed away and it made me fucking die inside ...I didn't even know who I was...