For some reason I'm wrong
For some reason I can't be better
For some reason I cry each night
For some reason I fall back in this pit,
Each time I try to get up

They tell me Rome wasn't built in a day
Like I am not just trying
To pick my up pieces
How complicated can it get to live
I've tried so hard to survive

They tell me to heal
Like it was that easy
I feel myself break
And the anger surrounds me
I just want to scream
Find an out if I can

But that's not what you taught me
Be perfect, you said
stand upright, don't slouch
When spoken too keep calm
But it gets harder each time
So I learnt to speak out
Push back if I could
I thought I had healed
And even then you judged

Life forced me back to this wall
Push back they said
But I never did learn to fight back
Your too soft they judged
But how could I fight
If my head was underwater

An ocean of pain
I could feel my limbs go soft
As the tears slid down my cheeks
And even then I heard you say
"Don't raise your voice"

As I stood in anger and pain
I felt something I hadn't before
In that moment
I felt it
As I took deep breaths
A feeling of nothingness
Finally calm, I couldn't feel

So now I hurt people
Just cause I don't feel
They say I need therapy
Like I turned out this way for no reason
They say face your past
Like they weren't the monster's
Lurking in the dark

© Dena's_poetry