bundled in blankets,
trying to hold myself together,
grieving substances misused,
feeling like I want to desolve
into the weather.

feeling like a boulder
that grown men couldn’t move;
doing my best to get better, endure, to improve—

it hurts to change,
it hurts to become—
I feel old,
yet far too young…

I know this isn’t all there is,
I can make it through today;

bundled in blankets,
determined to stay.

© a.v.b.