Oh how I wish you would kindly stop evading my privacy. I don't mean to sound rude. but it would be okay if u would in return let me envade yours. but to no avail. so I guess what I'm asking right now is can you please not feel the need to read all my messages that are not directed to you. I don't see that as fair that you can read all the messages I sent but I am not able to enjoy all of yours. the ones you send to others, I wish I could read them as well. but u will never agree to that. so why do you feel it be okay that you are able to read mine but I'm not able to do the same in return. It must feel powerful that you are always one step ahead of me but how you got there is so unfairly. one must not have that kind of power if the other isn't getting the same rewards. it should be us both getting the info from one another rather than just one. with the other left without a turn at being a head of the game. how could that possible seem right to you in your own eyes. don't you feel some remorse some regret for playing how you are playing in this game with a few tricks behind your back that only you can reap the joys of the benefit. That to me seems kindly unfair in this situation in this relationship of ours or at least what is left of what once was our relationship. You must think I'm stupid you must think that I have no brain. you must think of me as nothing but a piece of trash that you can use when you have nothing and then dump when you are good. You make me feel important if only for a minute or just until you get what you need from me then you throw me aside when you get what you need. I'm this disposalable piece of shit you so often use when needed. yet never really loving me ad you say you do only pretending to love me just until you no longer need me. you get your fix and then your gone like the wind. you disappear like the ghost of Christmas past. you make me believe that things are good that we are fine. that you have nothing but love for me thenits as if you take back everything that you said to me and like nothing you turn your back to me . You show me the side of you that I always hope never existed but was always there just well hidden from me. you made me believe in you when all your words that you spoke were lies and hardly ever true. you faked the love that I truly had for you you said I meant to you the world yet the world you never let me near. it was all just words that you never backed up with action only false words endless lies and empty promises.
© Stephanie mh