Its always there, always around
I try to block it out, lock it away
Yet it never leaves, never goes away
Sometimes it hurts, it stings
I can feel the pain, the anguish
Its been months, even years
It's still there, it's still hurting
I thought it left, it would stay gone
However, I was wrong
Just keep remembering, replaying over and over
Like a mantra in my head
'What if' and 'if only'  all-day
My only escape is to push it away with distractions
My grief is suffocating me
I can feel myself drowning in an ocean of regret
An endless tunnel keeping me from reaching her
No matter what I do I'm reminded of what I didn't do
Of the horrible mistake I made, the consequence of my error
It's my fault, my negligence
I know it in my heart
I can feel the pain of that carelessness
My grief stays bottled to stop the pain
Yet it...