some call me selfish, Tell me I'm taking this a little too hard.

I simply can't help how I feel inside, so think of me as you want.

I'm desperate for answer's, trying to make myself understand.

how my bestfriend is gone,but had so much life left.

life without you here, just doesn't make any sense.

their is no right words to describe my pain, I feel inside.

Today makes two whole years since you left me.

I never envisioned life without you, but I'm living in the reality of hell.

sometimes I get so angry, and blame myself.

wondering only if I did thing's different,

would the ending results of been the same. could you of been saved.

so many what ifs, begging for some type of clousure, or sign from you.

just to know your ok, and know your watching over us, like they all say.

I got to see you at your best self, and your darkest rock bottom.

never did I ever once think of life coming to this.

we had to many plans ahead, now your just gone, and now that's it.

all i have left is memories, and a broken heart.

we were two peas and a pod, did everything together, never seeing one without the other.

it was rare if we weren't together, people used to ask where is your other half.

we even celebrated our birthdays together,for many years.

we shared so many experiences together,some good, some bad.

we cried, we laughed, helped each other through this crazy life.

I remember that time we spoke before you passed.

never would I have ever dreamed that would be the last conversation we had.

I miss everything about you, I fear forgetting the sound of your voice.

They say the longer time goes, the easier it gets to cope.

I can't seem to escape this pain, time is all that has changed.

I feel like I'm being punished, in a sick way. this wasn't the way thing's were meant to be.

you had one of the biggest heart's, of everyone I know.

your soul seemed so pure, and gentle, your glow lit up the room.

you and your family showed me love I had never known before.

Took me in when, I was a stranger too you, when I had nowhere to turn, or no place to go.

welcomed me in with wide open arm's, no judgment, or questions asked.

The minute I met you, we instantly clicked, A moment I won't ever forget.

I thought to myself, wow she's just like me, I have found my twin.

my partner in crime, we became best friends, attached at one another's hip.

we were teenagers, and as boy crazy as ever.

our hormones were raging ,our curious little minds, wandering.

We thought we knew it all , and had life all figured out.

we loved, laughed, and lived we fought and argued as well. quick to forgive.

we picked each other up, when we were down, calmed one another ,when in panic mode.

when one of us were in a rut, we did whatever we could do to help out.

it never mattered what it was about, when or how.

I now walk alone, pleading and begging for God to ease the pain.

I ask for understanding, too help life make sense without my bestfriend .