Dark red and warm,
Spilling out of my lips,
The taste of metal binding my taste,
A shiver of pain flowing through my hips,
Reminding me of the torture,
That I have been going through days,
Bounded by chains,
My hands now stiff,
In the vice grip of the monster,
As he looks at me,
With those eyes,
So hollow and dead,
I can see my blood,
My blood stains everywhere,
Telling me the stories,
Of me in these past days,
Days or months?
I have lost count of them anyways,
I have lost hope,
Of ever living through this,
I just wish he could,
Swipe his knife,
And just end this already,
As I can’t bear this anymore,
I can’t cry anymore,
My cries reach to none,
I have accepted my fate,
I can’t escape this torture chamber,
I know,
I am going to die,
But a slow and painful death,
I break into silent sobs,
As I reminisce those happy days of my life,
I wonder of my family,
Praying every second if they could save me,
I still have hope to be saved,
Even though it equals to a speckle of dust.

A loud bang at the door,
Pulls me out of my thoughts,
There he is,
The darkness standing there,
Waiting to engulf me,
To the death that’s been,
Waiting for me,
He walks near to me,
But I have lost my terror,
So many days here,
Has gave me the power for nothing to fear,
After all, what more is there to lose?
There’s nothing left,
He crouches down to my level,
I turn away,
And try to look at anything but his face,
I could see,
From the corner of my eyes,
The knife so near to my throat,
I realise,
That these are my last few seconds,
Its my end,
I have mixed feelings about these,
I am relieved that I would be free,
But the thought of never seeing my dear ones,
Frightens me,
I reminisce all my happy memories,
Waiting for my impending doom,
My eyes closed and my breathing heavy,
Tears roll down my cheeks,
And I break into sobs,
So silent but so loud,
I could feel my breathing getting staggered,
I hear my heart’s erratic beating,
I see my vision turning hazy,
With my eyes filled with tears,
I swear I could feel my soul leaving my body,
I could feel I am free,
But then suddenly everything stops,
As if I was teleported to somewhere safe,
As I open my eyes,
Accompanied by broken sobs,
I could see lying on my bed.

It was just a dream,
A nightmare,
But it wasn’t something I could ignore,
I have been like this,
Since months,
Sobbing and turning in my bed,
Waking up scared,
Nightmares haunting me through the day,
Its all because of him,
The way he terrorised me to my death,
I can still feel the pain,
Even though it’s all over,
My parents always look at me,
Worried and concerned,
They know my situation,
They were my legs through it,
Saved me from that evil,
From that nightmare,
Which I lived in my past,
Which once was my reality,
Without them I do not know,
Where I would be,
May be dead,
I know they love me,
I believe they would understand,
The pain that I am going through,
The panic attacks, those nightmares,
Everything has me depressed and anxious,
But I find it difficult to express to them,
I try to, I really do,
But my feet freezes,
Before I could reach to them,
My guilt ambushes me,
And traps me there,
I don’t want to be a burden,
I don’t want to trouble them more,
So, I keep my lips shut,
Seal them with wax,
I keep it a secret,
I try to deal with it myself.

I cry every single night,
Every morning I walk to therapy,
But I find myself again,
In the same situation every single night,
I am on my wits end,
But I keep it to myself,
All my pain,
My dark secret,
I close off from the world,
And try to ward off those bright lights,
Those lights of happiness and love,
I am afraid to meet them again,
So, I go down that path,
I let my irrational fears and insecurities,
Sink their claws deep into me,
I am killing myself,
Letting everyone’s hard work and help,
Go down the drain,
But I am so emotionally broken,
So afraid and lost,
I am too afraid to open myself,
To open those wounds again,
That stopped bleeding through years,
But left scars,
Left scars so deep,
That burns till now,
So, I keep those scars a secret,
A secret from everyone,
Every single person in this world,
As I lay trapped in my nightmares hold.

© jas