Why is it that the very behavior which caused me so much torment gives me peace?
Why does this evil master relive my tension but chills through the spine?
My chest is heavy without it, I beg my master to give me calmness.
The calmness is granted, but at what cost?
The cost that takes my time, my dignity, but yet the moment the craving sets in I can't resist.
It's harder to starve, than to eat the delicious poison in the shape of a heart.
It made my stomach sick, but now it's sweet like wine.
Intoxicating me until the tension is gone, until I'm numb in the soul.
It's love, it's familiar.
I can't pump my stomach off of this illness and maybe I don't want to.
I knew my evil master, she would never ease up, she was relentless beyond all belief.

The sickening pain of pain knocked me unconscious into a deep sleep.
The waking hour felt horrible, but at least it was over.
Over time I took the poison in doses, the first one my insides were upside down screaming to me to stop.
After many of these poisonous dosages, the evil master had stopped in her tracks.
She was gone, but...