( is this a poem or a monologue or my rambling or bunch of words I had the world ending kind of urge to write despite everything I don't know and please don't ask me )

I couldn't even be angry at them
I truly couldn't hate them
I didn’t like me either
I didn't deserve love or hate
I felt I should be grateful for their indifference
Cause I couldn't even grant that it to myself

I was constantly aware of me and my self
It wasn't the feeling of gentle rain drizzling
It was like being...