A rainy Wednesday
is it spring or summer
do I play it safe or make the move to call her
one small problem
her number is a mystery
our interactions are limited in this building
even though she leaves me smiling
seeing hers weakens me
like a blade to a shield
I sense a repeat of last year
but this doesn't feel like a movie
this feels like hopelessness
does this intro really gel
grab your attention, want to make you keep reading
you know my habits
I'm not stellar at openings
I'm only adequate at buying time
Don't mind me, I'm simply getting a head start
to sit on my pedestal
made of stone and cement
look out across the horizon
proceed to scream
Should I label this part 2
for all these are simply my thoughts too
but I lost the will to self depricate
in its place is a long list of complaints
Hopefully this doesn't take long
I don't like wasting your time
and a pile of dishes is calling my name
it's been a busy work day
while I feel like there's cinder blocks attached to my brain stem
making my head feel so heavy
maybe I took my medication the wrong way
maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed
but my mood has gone back down
nearly fading to emo black
I wasn't a full yellow color of the sun
but I was orange, my favorite hue
trying to enjoy not feeling blue
for an entire week
visibly and audibly feeling like nothing could stop me
celebrating within myself that positivity washed over me finally
the rare occasion was worth a party
party of one
now here's the aftermath
working on day three of suffocating on this toxic mentality
with three more retries in my pocket to get this week on track
but all I wish is to go home
sleep for a week, forget all my conversations
bury my head under the covers
and like everyone else
forget I exist
or reject my existence altogether
as I hear Killswitch Engage
sing in the background
"Will you reject yourself?"
I never reply back, I only get lost in the melody
and the sound of the lonely guitar solo
now I have the inkling to whisper yes
turn to dust like Thanos after losing this battle
fade away to another promise land
and see what lies ahead there
I know, I know
it's me that's bleak
but please take me back to the store
get your money back
exchange for something more positively worth your time
am I worth your time
sometimes I feel like I'm barely worth mine
addicted to headaches as much as I'm addicted to music flooding my...