I'm an OCD burglar
I'd break in and clean your house
But I won't leave nothing out of place
I'm as quiet as a mouse
I never seem to steel anything
I just put your CDs in order
My worst nightmare is breaking in to a house
That is owned by a hoarder
I rearrange your fridge
I make the labels face the front
I know I'm being out of order here
I know I'm being a cunt
I just can't seem to stop myself
Your house I have to clean
I don't carry a knife or a gun
Just a can of Mr Sheen
I break in through the backdoor
but I never break the frame
That would send me mental because
'THEY MUST ALL LOOK THE SAME'
I only take away
The things that don't belong
If its even it's ok
If it's odd then it's wrong
Your shoes must stay together
Pointing at the door
I've lost count of the amount of times
That I pick toys up off your floor
I know I've got a problem
I think it's getting worse
If your money is uneven
I put my own inside your purse
I carry cans of soup with me
It's my only saving grace
Because if there's a gap in your cupboard
I can put mine there in its place
So if you wake up tomorrow
And your house is cleaner than before
You've been robbed by the OCD burglar
Who wipes his feet at the door.

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