In a different universe, my parents would have put me into music lessons instead of foster care. My sister wouldn't have been hateful, and all the other people who were supposed to love me unconditionally wouldn't have made me feel worthless. Maybe then, I wouldn't be so scared of losing any love I receive now.

In a different universe, I wouldn't know what it's like to beg for change on the street or worry about where my next place to stay will be. I wouldn't know what it's like to go to bed hungry night after night. Money wouldn't be an issue because maybe then I wouldn't ever have to worry about hiding it away for my great escape.

In a different universe, my Dad didn't pass away, and I didn't lose everybody in my family at the same time. Maybe then I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life without my family or a trusting adult to confide in.

In a different universe, I am filled with so much of the right kind of love and guidance because maybe then I could have actually seen the red flags long before I was trapped under the narcissist's thumb.

In a different universe, I have the most loving husband who cares so much about his children growing up right, because maybe then I wouldn't have to constantly feel like I have to compensate for his lame attempts at being their dad.

But I live in this universe. And although I may not be able to change my past, I can make sure that I make the changes I need now to create a universe that I want to live in, because maybe then I will never wonder what life could have been like in a different universe.
© Melissa G