I thought I was doing my best
I could climb up that ladder but
There is a long way, less time
Less hope, as with each step
I keep falling down

And I have fallen before
But then I thought I was falling in love
That we could win against anything, any fate, any god
But there was just too much pain in every battle, too less
Faith
Less connection, then I had predicted
Less time, before he was already leaving


And I have been left before
Even my own reflection, I can't call mine
I've been dissolated inside my own head
And I've been lonesome in parties
I've been lonesome inside homes I built in my lover's hearts
And even my exes don't have anything bad to say against me
But that did not stop everything from turning apart
Every person I trusted
Found me too difficult, too something that they could not handle

And to be honest , I never wanted to be handled
Just held
Not fixed, but just understood
Just like how I understand everyone's flaws and fall in love even with their darkness

I fall in love with everybody
But myself...


© nervous_system