If it's a sin,
to feel pleasure,
to have desires,
but also not a sin,
to feel pleasure,
to have desires,
I wonder which ones true.

What hurts others,
what destroys them,
is the biggest sin,
who did nothing sinful,
but who am I to judge,
to even know?

What hurts me,
destroys me,
leads me to depravity,
but also doesn't hurt others,
is that also a sin?

Do I even have the right to question it?

Leading me astray,
losing
morality,
dignity,
shattered like glass plates,
irreparable
blurred reflections,
what hurts me, what hurts others,
connections unknown,
what to think anymore,
when my mind is lost in the labyrinth,
of these conflicts?

I committed sins,
thinking like this,
eyes covered with disturbing images,
I am tainted dirty,
not by dirt,
but by my biggest fears,
creations of my own mind.

Think, think, think, think,
when was insanity conceived?
Was frustration it's father,
or damning immoral desires?
No question,
despairs of unhappiness laced with loneliness was it's mother.

I am drowning with depravity,
comedic isn't it,
who will want to even give me
another chance,
when this another chance has no end to it?

Laugh at me,
laugh all you want ...