I feel a surge of maybe mistaken enlightenment.
Not knowing if to follow and pursue or shake and disregard.
A calm chaos brews in my nerves
Forming and molding my thoughts
Ying and yang..hot and cold..up and down
Tugging me in two conflicting directions
Positivity crashes to my shore
Magnetic negativety under taking it to the depths of my spirtual sea
Yearning for peaceful control over my inner being
The one whos thoughts spiral, likely to desire the way they get lost
Excruciating having to be your own life boat
My body aches from the strain of my mental pulling, the pushing.
Conjuring the burdening strength my soul needs to remain, flourish.
Apologies for my distant and clashing behavior
Please dont paint it with thoughts of rejection
My inner entaglement occasionally showering few with rejuvination
Leaving me charmed yet completely drained