You choose me to stand by your side,
as your maid of honour...
On your special day, regardless of my own reservations...

I tried so hard, yet I still failed in your eyes.
Regardless of my of personal pain I went through...

A loss of my own stability and a parent,
All you saw was that I was not happy enough for you and your special day...

Perhaps that made you feel that I did not care,
That your wedding day was not important enough.

Yet did you ever take a moment to consider or realise that I gave up so much more to pretend that I am happy for you...

Even when I am feeling broken,
With my own words left unspoken?
The answers to my questions are simple...
You choose to ignore my pain as it conflicted with your happiness...

And for the simple reason that I was not equipped to hide the heartache I felt,
You abandoned me and walked away blaming me for not being happy enough for you.

I'm on my own,
On my way to more sadness and
Strength you will never understand.

Closer to the dark,
More able to survive the lonely dark road ahead.

Learning to face my own fears,
So that I am on my way to a better place.

Where love will thrive and grow.

You have no control over me.