they think I'm sleeping
while I'm crying
they think I'm silently walking
while I'm silently praying
they think I'm laughing
while I'm secretly fighting
tears that need an escape
from hammering thoughts
she brings when she visits

because every time she visits
she leaves me devastated
her visits are random
but they always leave a lasting effect
she comes with different temps
sometimes is easily swayed aside
by a bottle of pills
but sometimes she is detrimental
and fights to stay

I get tired of her
so I put on a facade
and pretend she's not there
thinking maybe she will leave
but her persistence
is at times stronger than my resilience
that most times I cry myself to sleep
so she can let me rest
#depression

lejuliet _m
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